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Thursday, May 05, 2005


Contrary to popular belief, Cinco de Mayo is not a creation of the Modelo brewing company designed to sell more Corona. On May 5th, 1862, the Mexican Army, under the command of General Zaragosa defeated the French Army at the battle of Peubla. The French had designs to install the Hapsburg prince Maximilian as King of Mexico. If the French were successful, they would have been in position to offer the United States Confederate Army with the kind of support that could have turned the tide of the American Civil War in favor of the Confederacy. We should thank them. I am celebrating Cinco de Mayo with lunch from Uncle Moe's, which is my favorite taco purveyor in the neighborhood. I love tacos. A taco has a corn tortilla shell. The corn tortilla is a wonderful invention that has improved the quality of my life, and for that I thank the Mexicans as well. I must stress the fact that flour tortillas are for burritos. The 'chicken soft taco' that you might find in a fake Mexican joint, say Taco Bell, are fake tacos. In fact Taco Bell has very little to do with Mexico, and should change their name to Fake Taco Bell. Since I am at work, I can't indulge in my favorite Mexican beer, Pacifico. Pacifico, which is not made by the Modelo Brewing Company, is far superior to Corona. I do enjoy Negra Modelo, which is heartier than Corona. I really don't care for Corona at all actually. It's proper name is Corona Extra, I guess the 'Extra' stands for extra bland. Anyway, spend a moment today pondering how Mexico has improved your life, because like it or not, it probably has.

A wise man once said quite emphatically,"You don't put fruit in beer!"
Mexico has improved my life in a lot of ways. For one thing, I love Mexican food. And what would I do without chips and salsa? Some of the higher end tequilas are wonderful. Corona I think is absolute crap. My favorite Mexican beer is Negra Modelo. Dos XX is good too I think. None of it with lime, though. What the fuck are they thinking? And yeah, Uncle Moe's is good, but La Taqueria in Park Slope is much better I think. Similar style. And lastly, I guess I have Mexico to thank for my girlfriend. She identifies herself as part Mexican, but I don't totally buy it. Not that she's lying, just that she was adopted and thinks one of her birth parents is/was Mexican. Never met them. So there it is. But she thinks she was conceived at Altamont. Now that's cool as fuck.

Oh, how could I forget to mention Bruce? I have this cool Mexican statue I named Bruce.
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