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Thursday, May 31, 2007

MELODY MAKER (CONT.)

I finally got around to strolling down the half block to Guitar Center to start the ball rolling on the purchase of one of these little beauties, but, much to my chagrin, they don't have any. After further inquiry I was told that they are only available on-line. WTF?

That is absurd.

Not only am I leery of having a guitar shipped to me, but, more importantly, part of the joy of guitar shopping is playing it first, then handing it to the failed musician working at the guitar store and saying; "wrap it up, I'll take it."

Who wants to buy a guitar they haven't played. It's like anything else, you can get a lemon if you don't test drive it.

Grrrrrrrrr..........


HE HAS ARRIVED

No mention of his better looking brother who's blog kicks the ass of all other blogs.

My time will come........

BILLY GRAHAM LIBRARY OPENS

Funny, no mention of any books, though I expect there'll be a Bible or two on hand.

CONGRESSIONAL CORRUPTION SWEEPSTAKES

The GOP is way out in the lead, 6-2 over Dems, but the real story is the no show Libertarians. They just can't get arrested in this town.

GW'S NEW CLIMATE STRATEGY

Put it off another year and a half and let the next guy deal with it. At the end of the day, Bush's plan leaves it up to each individual country to do as they see fit - after dragging his heels for another year. This is no new news. Bush won't accept the fact that the U.S. has to play by the same rules as everyone else if we're going to tackle this thing.

In other related news, Bush has granted the U.S. 'Most Favored Nation' status.

NEW ENGLAND, A GREAT PLACE TO BE GAY

New Hampshire has jumped on board the civil union bandwagon. That's great, but can't we dispense with the jargon? Let's just bite the bullet and call it what it is, marriage.

My parents are celebrating 50 years of marriage in two weeks. Commitment of that caliber can't be undermined by same sex marriage. Gay marriage is no threat to the fabric of that union I can tell you.

If you feel your marriage is threatened by homosexuals, then I'd say your marriage is founded upon shaky ground to begin with.......girlfriend.

THE LANDLORD

I've been trying to lay off the streaming media links. I guess that's not going too well, much like the less cynical Jackson, but this is just way too funny.

THE END IS NEAR

This seals the deal, it's over everyone, heads between knees, close your eyes.......

AIR FARCE

After all, the Air Force is, at best, a paramilitary organization (thanks Dave.)

WAAAAAAHHHHHH!

My name is Lou Dobbs and I'm a big fat cry baby, waaaah, waaah......

Can't take the heat Lou? Get the fuck out of the kitchen.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007


NORWAY ON MY MIND

Can't find any peace? Try Scandinavia, specifically Norway. Norway is rated the most peaceful nation, number two is New Zealand. Last place goes to (shocker!) Iraq, and out of 121, the U.S. ranks 96th. My math sucks, but I believe that puts us somewhere in the bottom third.

Of course Norwegian TV blows.......

I noticed Sweden is not in the top 5. Probably due to the Metal scene there.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

WHO'S FIGHTING, AND WHAT FOR?

I was going to leave the whole Cindy Sheehan thing alone.

Then I read Tony's post, which I mostly agree with.

It was the anonymous comment I found there that sent me reeling.

The idea than many Americans still believe that we are in Iraq to defend ourselves, freedom, or democracy (not the same thing), makes me physically ill.

It's the worst kind of bullshit propaganda, the kind that gets folks killed.

Sure I feel bad for Cindy. I feel bad for our brave men and women in uniform, who've been lied to, led on, and been forced to bear the brunt of failed foriegn policy - who've been mis-used by our President who never made the same sort of sacrifice for his country, but most of all I feel bad for people like anonymous who believe the hype.

APOCALYPSE THEN

The Legal Diva and I watched the DVD of APACALYPTO last night. As you might expect, Mel delivers a goodly amount of violence, but unlike the unwatchable 'The Passion of Latex', the film is fast paced and engaging.

Jackson Recommends.

Jackson's brief summary: Meet the new boss, not dissimilar to the old boss.

THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES........THEY ARE OUT OF SAUSAGE

Sunday night I had the pleasure of meeting some friends at Fette Sau. Williamsburg needed BBQ, and thanks to Spuyten Duyvil owners Joe and Kim Carroll, we got one.

This place is awesome, and I can't recommend it highly enough.

It was very busy, Memorial Day weekend and all, and they began to run out of certain items around 9pm. They open at 5pm, so the window is small, but well worth the time on line - get there early.

While waiting for a jug of beer at the bar (Beer, wine, whiskey, mezcal), I ran into my friend John The Carpenter. John used to be John the Soldier during the first Gulf war. John said to me:

"They aren't lining up to join the military, but they sure are lining up for pulled pork."

How true John.

HILLARY'S THEME SONG

How about 'The Impossible Dream'?

ACCOUNTABILITY

....and then some. Damn, I mean he deserves it, but....damn......

CENSORSHIP IS A WMD

....and they've got oil there too. Whaddya say George, next stop Caracas?

MY BEEF WITH SUVs

I hate SUVs. I share this trait with many liberal minded folks, but for a different reason. Sure I find it ridiculous when I see one person cruising around Brooklyn in an Escalade, but what makes me spit, curse, and scream is assholes who park their behemoth vehicles on a corner by a stop sign, in effect blocking the view for anyone who is trying drive through the intersection.

It's fucking dangerous!

Mayor Bloomberg, please help us! We need a city ordinance. No SUV parking within thirty feet of a stop sign.

Fuck these ridiculous fuckers and their fucking ridiculous fucking tanks.

Monday, May 28, 2007

THE SLEEP OF REASON PRODUCES MONSTERS

I still blame Bush, but I blame us all for him.

Most of all, I agree with Al.

Next to Al, my favorite Presidential candidate is Sen. Ron Paul, (R) Texas. Yup, that's right, a (gasp.....) Republican.

Check him out.

Refreshing.

I had no idea that the conservatism was about small government and fiscal accountability, who'd a thunk it?

I like his stand on 'policy', and why it is that our military is not a failure, our policy is.

Cagey.

I'm growing less cynical, but I'm on the fence about it.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

2007 - THE YEAR OF THE JETS

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At the ESPN Upfronts, I talked to Mike and Mike. I asked them what hope a Jets fan has this year. They said, basically, the same hope we have every year - a wild card spot.

Hooey! Hooey I say!

The Jets schedule is chock full of opportunity. We will start on Sunday the 9th of September by destroying the assface bastard people known as the Patriots, and then continue to roll past everyone we meet, waylaying the likes of Dallas, Miami, Buffalo, Philly, the Bengals, Washington, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Kansas City, and yes, even the Giants.

Be Warned! The Jets are coming, and we're pulling zero punches!

First we gotta get through the summer, baseball, zzzzzzzzzzzz

MELODY MAKER


Worn White

Listing for $399.00.

Methinks I'll have a new guitar soon.

TP and the HBs

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This one's for The Legal Diva.

This one is for Papa Robbie.


I don't know why 'Rebels' strikes such a chord with me. I am not a son of the south, and have never lived south of Maryland. Maybe it has something to do with knowing who you are, where you come from, and accepting all that goes with it.

I do understand Papa's feelings about the Stars and Bars, and that's totally justifiable. Tom's obviously pushing buttons here.


BY WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY

Bush says this summer critical for Iraq war


It has become painfully obvious that the White House will do and say anything to justify it's war. All one can do is hope that by 2009, when we get somebody else in the White House, that the reputation of America hasn't been tarnished beyond repair.

I for one don't think the forecast is very good.

SNAKES ON A PLANE.....ALMOST

Another reason to just steer clear of the Middle East altogether.

DOGS D'AMOUR

Such Potential. Great songs. Whiskey Rock. Ugly Singer. Tele Twang.

Those were the days.......





GP





I'm leery of myths, because, well, they're mythical.

So much has been made of the influence of Gram Parsons on the 70's music scene of which I am amongst those of whom refuse to let it go type variety.

So it was inevitable that I would eventually get my due diligence in on this whole Gram Parsons thing.

First there's the whole Keith/Nellcote/Exile thing.

Then there's the whole dope thing.

Culminating in the whole O.D./stolen body/desert burial thing.

But what of the music?

I bought, on vinyl mind you, both 'Grievous Angels', and 'GP'.























It is that good.

It is worthy of myth.

And yes, we can blame Don Henley on him.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

SHIRAZ POACHED FILET MIGNON WITH STEAMED VEG AND ROASTED TATERS

The Legal Diva and I accidentally stopped into Dean & Deluca this past weekend. We left a hefty sum poorer, but what a meal!

We seasoned the filets with a dry rub. We have Williams-Sonoma Blackening Rub, which is fantastic, but you can use whatever seasoning you like. I really manhandled the filets in the rubbing process, working that shit in there.

We let the filets sit in their rub a bit whist we prepped the veggies for steamin'.

Dean and Deluca had some Broccoli prepped for tempura, so all we had to do was rinse the long florets, and place them on the rack of our rice steamer. We bought an orange and a white bell pepper, which we sliced long and thin. Lastly we sliced up some standard white button mushrooms. After we placed all the veggies in the steamer, we added a 1/4 cup of water, and rounded that out with the juice of one clementine, and a splash of apple cider.

We had some new potatoes, which we rubbed with peanut oil and kosher salt before roasting them at 400 or so degrees.

Back to the filets.

We seared them puppies in a pan w/ some peanut oil before plopping them in a pot with about 2 cups of Shiraz. Shiraz is what we had on hand, I'm sure any red will do.

Turn on the steamer.

Turn the filets after a few minutes,

Done and Done. Mmmmmm, meat.

Leftover filets make good sandwiches.

THE HATE LIST

Here at Savage Distortion, we love to hate. Hate is fun. Hate keeps it real. Most of all Hate gives me something to do right now. Slow day at work.

We all know how much I hate GWB, and my seething hatred of Tom Cruise is also well covered terrain. Here's some more targets for hatred inspired diatribes.

http://www.businessweek.com/the_thread/brandnewday/archives/2006_05_01-Rachel-Ray.jpg

"Eee vee oh oh, yum-o!"

Barf - O

http://www.askmen.com/specials/2005_top_99/celebs/8_beyonce_knowles.jpg

"Ooooooo eeeeeeeee ooooooooo aaaaaaaa........"

Shut the hell up!

http://www.stormhoek.com/archives/donald-trump.jpg

Why is a man with such obvious bad taste allowed to decorate the greatest skyline in the world, and, why is he allowed on television?

Please feel free to contribute more targets - other than Bjork. Savage Distortion is a Bjork Hate Free Zone. It takes courage to enjoy it......

Hate; it's what brings us together.


TRANSFIGURING PERCEPTIONS

We've been working with Rob Sbar again. Rob is a brilliant guitarist, backed by a super charged rhythm section. The tracks are going to rip, seriously. Check his site for some examples of what the Rob Sbar Noesis is all about.


What I did was wrong, but I didn't knowingly do anything wrong, I mean, well, it felt wrong, but I didn't know it was wrong, er, um, .................McNulty did it! It was him!

Can I go home now? I gotta take a pill.

WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT

Even if this 'intelligence' (oxy - moron) is dead on accurate, it only goes to show what numbskulls the Cheney/Bush team are. If anything, they created the 'safe haven' in Iraq for Al Queda to operate.

Fatheads.

Monday, May 21, 2007

ORIENTAL BEAT

Why is Youtube great? The dearth of Hanoi Rocks videos of course.

The one time the Fins were cutting edge........

If you can't beat 'em, kill their drummer, right Vince?

PRESS PIRATE

This is how you do press. Well, okay, it's how Keith does it......

KING OF BORING

Scott Staap can't even make domestic violence exciting.

CLIMATE CHANGE

Well it's starting to affect golfers, so I expect the republicans to accept the reality any day now.

GORILLA, YOU'RE A DESPERADO

This song always makes me chuckle. The idea being that it's far more interesting to detail the woes beset by a gorilla assuming the life of Warren Zevon that it would be to look at what happened to Warren living in the cage at the zoo.

Big gorilla at the L.A. Zoo
Snatched the glasses right off my face
Took the keys to my BMW
Left me here to take his place

I wish the ape a lot of success
I'm sorry my apartment's a mess
Most of all I'm sorry if I made you blue
I'm betting the gorilla will, too

They say Jesus will find you wherever you go
But when He'll come looking for you, they don't know
In the mean time, keep your profile low
Gorilla, you're a desperado

He built a house on an acre of land
He called it Villa Gorilla Now
I hear he's getting divorced
Laying low at L'Ermitage, of course

Then the ape grew very depressed
Went through Transactional Analysis
He plays racquetball and runs in the rain
Still he's shackled to a platinum chain

Big gorilla at the L.A. Zoo
Snatched the glasses right off my face
Took the keys to my BMW
Left me here to take his place

BACK TO WORK

I'm back at my 'day job'. I've always said that I'm the luckiest man alive. I have not one, but two jobs that I enjoy. I am truly blessed.

Needless to say, my blog output should increase greatly, at least until mid July.

Last week I worked four days with Chan on an ESPN gig. A review. Burt didn't get it. I thought it was genius. Burt probably doesn't much care for Krokus or Accept either.

Sunday, May 13, 2007


TO ALL THE MOTHERS


I would like to wish all the mothers out there a happy Mother's Day. Over the years I have the good fortune of being mothered surrogately by many amazing women. None have or will ever taken the place of my own mother, how could they? But, still, I have been blessed, so not only do I wish a happy Mother's Day to her, but to Mrs. Phillips, Mrs. Masucci, Mrs. Mod, both of my Sister In Laws, and my future Mom In Law, Mrs. Wilder.


You all have done a bang up job.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

THEY'RE BAAAAAACK

I've seen a lot of great concerts. U2, The Stones, Aerosmith, Peter Gabriel, Bowie, Ramones, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Ozzy, UFO, Alice Cooper, Kiss, Tom Petty, and there's plenty more, BUT, I have never, I repeat, never seen a better live act than Kix.

I am so psyched.

Bassist, band 'General', and main writer Donnie Purnell is still among the missing. I'll miss the way he swings his Gibson bass around, but if leaving him out is the only way to get my Kix back, hell, I'll take it.

Besides, there's no one cooler than Brian 'Damage' Forsythe, 'cept Keith, of course. I know Brian would agree.


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EVER GET THE FEELING YOU'VE BEEN CHEATED?

Those were the last public words spoken by Johnny Rotten as a Sex Pistol. Surely he did, but whose fault was that?

Say you went to Vegas and lost a grand in a night. Were you cheated?

Say you gave a dubious person fifty bucks for a bag of something, and it turned out to be something else. Were you cheated?

Say you bought a new Chrysler, and the day after the warranty expired, the thing started to fall apart. Again, were you cheated?

"Remember when we all had record deals that gave us $1.40 a record in 1977? Good deal when records cost 6-7 bucks but THEN, when everything went to CD they charged 15-20 bucks and gave NO increase in royalties but managed to congratulate each other on their amazing windfall of profits! Oh, they said "We are re-tooling, that costs money." Well, almost 30 years after "re-tooling" I didn't get a fucking dime more. Did any of you ??" - Steve Lukather (Toto) on a recent Bob Lefsetz post

Steve feels cheated. Was he?

If, indeed, the recording industry scammed the public into paying more for CDs; into replacing their vinyl, and they had cut Steve in, wouldn't that make him an accessory? Wouldn't that be collusion?

What Steve leaves out of the story, which shows he's an out of touch rock star who has no place in the complaints department, is that vinyl wasn't going for '6-7 bucks' when the industry went digital.

I remember paying $11.99 for 'Green' by R.E.M. on vinyl in 1989.

It's called inflation, I blame Republicans, but that's my choice. Certainly I blame myself for being a fool before I blame Warner Bros. for cheating me.

Caveat Emptor.

I leaned that from the Brady Bunch.

Monday, May 07, 2007

1979 - THE METAL RENAISSANCE

"Where were you in '79
When the damn began to burst?"

So sang Biff Byford on the title track to Saxon's 1982 LP 'Denim and Leather'. What Biff is referring to is of course the New Wave of British Heavy Metal, which ran it's course from 1979 to 1983, and gave us the likes of Def Leppard, Iron Maiden, the aforementioned Saxon and many many other not so notable bands.

But this sea change in hard rock was not limited to the British Isle, around the world Hard Rock was undergoing a Renaissance.

As a Heavy Rock fan during those years I certainly didn't limit my consumption to the NWOBHM, not nearly.

The bands that had been carrying the flag of Hard Rock throughout disco and punk were still around during those years. Sabbath and Ozzy were separately putting out their best records in years. Judas Priest and Germany's Scorpions were having their largest successes. AC/DC was ruling the planet from Sydney. Thin Lizzy and UFO were still at it, though their albums were suffering from 'nervous exhaustion'.

And new bands were cropping up everywhere - Germany birthed Accept, Switzerland gave us Krokus, Australia had Rose Tattoo, and Brooklyn was home to both Riot and the Rods.

Unfortunately the movement was felt in L.A. as well, and the response from there would kill the resurgence, make a joke of Metal, and pave the way for sensitive gloom rock from Washington State. I am talking about Motley Crue, Ratt, and NWOBHM defectors, Def Leppard.

The success of Hair Metal caused the watering down of the mighty Priest as well as Accept Krokus, Saxon, even Maiden.

It sucked.

Life went on.

Thank God for the Stones.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

WALLSE

Tonight, in celebration of the Legal Diva's birthday, we are going to Wallse, an upscale restaurant in the west village run by an Austrian chef. I did not pick the restaurant, the Legal Diva picked it out herself. She is fond of Reislings, and German cooking. I can only bask in the glory of my extreme fortune. Since I don't know any Austrian bands, we're listening to Accept's second record, 'Accept. The name of their first record? 'Accept'.

She must love me......'

CONSIDER THIS

I finally got around to seeing 'For Your Consideration'. I'm glad I didn't rush out to see it, as I might have been as disappointed as the people who had seen it that I had talked to. I had the benefit of those conversations going in. I knew Chris Guest had strayed a bit from the formula. I knew there were no fake interviews, gone was the mokumentary style, and in it's place was a - eeek - script. Certainly there are many great moments of improv in the movie, but is much more heavily scripted than the Guffman/Show/Wind Trilogy.

Knowing what I was in for helped me get over it and enjoy the fine performances.

The story isn't new, we've all seen the 'Hollywood destroys quaint little picture' movies, in fact Chris Guests directorial debut was such a film - 'The Big Picture'.

Hollywood doesn't like to look at itself in this way. Chris should have known that.

Good movie anyway.

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