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Friday, March 31, 2006

EYES LIKE ANTS






This photo of Larry of the Darvocets (Aaron in the background) from the Painkiller Records website is just so awesome, I couldn't resist posting it. Chris posted about their new release recorded at Smoke and Mirrors.

THE HITS JUST KEEP COMING

Just in case people wonder why I shit on the Catholic Church.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- New figures released Thursday by the nation's Roman Catholic bishops show the unrelenting toll of the clergy sex abuse crisis: 783 new credible claims last year, most of which date back decades, and costs of nearly $467 million.

MOTHER OF BLOW

Blessed is the fruit of thy tombstone - yayo.

CRIMINAL LABOR?

WASHINGTON (AP) -- House conservatives criticized President Bush, accused the Senate of fouling the air, said prisoners rather than illegal farm workers should pick America's crops and denounced the use of Mexican flags by protesters Thursday in a vehement attack on legislation to liberalize U.S. immigration laws.

Clearly House conservatives are insane.


I don't want murderers, rapists, and thieves picking MY fruit. It's a bad idea.

Considering the fact that most conservative politicians are criminals themselves, I think they should be careful what they wish for.

As far as the Senate fouling the air, it's most likely dietary.

Concerning the Mexican flag - I wonder if these are the same guys who were reticent to take the confederate flag down from the courthouse.

Again, clearly insane.

DAVE CAVALIER'S NEW CAR


The HyShot IV experimental scramjet successfully lifts off at the Woomera test range, 500 km (311 miles) north of Adelaide in South Australia March 20, 2006. The flight, conducted by the University of Queensland on commission for the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA), had a payload of 100 kg and was powered by a scramjet engine with an advanced fuel injector developed by JAXA. Photo taken March 20, 2006.  EDITORIAL USE ONLY NO ARCHIVES NO SALES REUTERS/Queensland University/Handout


Word on the street is that Tony Alva's Daughter was the test pilot during the development of Dave's new Mercedes Viking I.




Test Pilot Katie Alva was not available for comment, but sources close to the family report her as having said:

"C'mon guys..."


Thursday, March 30, 2006

B.I.G. MONEY, BUT IT AIN'T OVER

Biggy's Mom get's 1.1 million in legal costs, but justice has yet to be served. When the dust settles from this case, the City of Los Angeles will be paying out B.I.G. time.

CRAZY SEXY UN-COOL

Clearly Naomi Campbell is also insane.

IT HAS TO BE SAID

Lou Dobbs is a jerk, a racist, and clearly insane.

TECHNOLOGY IS BAD

Steve Jobs can blow me.

I spent ages trying to load about 30 iPods with a movie file. I loaded these same iPods with the same movie file back in November. I actually loaded 120 iPods with about 300 mp3s and this stupid, god-damned movie file. 30 of the people who received these iPods promptly went home and erased the files when they hooked their iPods up to their computers.

AAARRGGGH!

We told them to select 'Update Manually' in their iTunes Preferences, but you know people, 30 out of every 120 are morons, just like Steve 'my head's up my ass' Jobs. So, I had to re-load the files. The mp3s went fine, but when I tried to load the movie file I kept getting a prompt telling me that the file could not be played on iTunes.

It plays on my iTunes.

I figure it's due to the fact that these 30 people have a newer version of iTunes than the one I was using to load their iPods with. I couldn't download the newest version of iTunes either, because I have a loaner PowerBook G4 from our tech department at work, and the loser that had it before me activated the security feature and I don't know his damn password, and he hasn't responded to my phone calls. Asshole. He must be a friend of Steve 'I couldn't care less about anything that doesn't increase my wealth' Jobs.

The 30 people couldn't care less about the stupid mp3s, what they really want is the fucking movie file. I wasted my time and theirs. Sorry, I mean Steve Jobs wasted my time and theirs.

Why can't you make fucking product that is relevant for more than a fucking nano second?

Good thing Heineken remains consistant. There's a product that doesn't need constant updating, and one that will help me cope with my seething hatred for that cock-sucking asshole Jobs and his constant need to update everything.

Update your arse Jobs.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush said Wednesday that Saddam Hussein, not continued U.S. involvement in Iraq, is responsible for ongoing sectarian violence that is threatening the formation of a democratic government.


While I will stop short of completely disagreeing with GW's view, in all actuality the problems with sectarian clashing in Iraq goes back beyond Saddam. It starts after WWII, when what is called Iraq was created by the British, wherein at least three different social entities, namely the Kurds, the Sunnis and the Shias, were thrown together into one poorly thought out 'nation'.


A marriage of convenience has turned violent.

Monday, March 27, 2006

CHICAGO WITHOUT CHOLESTEROL

It's going to be tough. I walked by the Billy Goat Tavern last night. I poked my head in. Thankfully in my moment of weakness the good lord stepped in, the kitchen was shut down, and the place was empty except for a few mokes at the bar. It looked like Moe's Tavern. At some point this week, I will break down and head back there. I gotta have my 'cheez-borger' - double cheez-borger, it's the best. It's a simple enough concept, put the burger on a kaiser roll - presto! The best burger anywhere.

I'm not worried about pizza here. What they call pizza here is actually a casserole I think, anyway, there's no danger for me there.

The hot dogs, now that's a potential problem. Maybe if I up the CRESTOR dose......just kidding.

Chicago is a food town. A great food town. I'm sure I can find some fish somewhere, but it might be stuffed with cheese and wrapped in bacon. Grouper with confit of Keilbasa, you get the picture.

I'll be good, but I know, at least once, I'm gonna be real bad, and it will be very good.

GIVE US YOUR POOR, TIRED, HUDDLED MASSES.....

......as long as they're not coming in from Mexico that is.

Personally, I'm for free and open borders. As long as you have ID that can be checked against an international database, if you come up clean, you should be granted entry and be able to work. If you want government services - financial aid, you should have to become a naturalized citizen. That process should involve some mandatory education and a service charge.

Friday, March 24, 2006

SURFACE NOISE

I forced Exile on Chan tonight. No other British band swallowed American music like the Stones. Exile was the main course.

"It's the fucking Gospel"

What sets Exile above everything is Gospel.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

REST EASY EVERYONE - CHARLIE IS ON THE CASE

“It is up to us to reveal the truth, we owe it to everybody’s life who was drastically altered, horrifically that day and forever. We owe it to them to uncover what happened.” - Charlie Sheen on the events of 9/11

After watching in horror as the South Tower was hit, he said to his brother (Another noted security analyst), “call me insane, but did it sorta look like those buildings came down in a controlled demolition?”

Charlie, um, did you see the planes?

I know his movie and television carrer does make him an expert on disasters, but I think it's safe to say that planes did fly into the World Trade Center - I think we can all agree on that.

Apparently Sheen doesn't buy the notion that “19 amateurs with box cutters (took) over four commercial airliners and (hit) 75 percent of their targets.”

Charlie, you shouldn't throw words like 'amateur' around, I mean we know you've spent some time with some 'pros', like Heide Fliess, but when it comes to National Security and Intelligence, I think you just might be the amateur.

TEXAS - HOME OF PURE GENIUS

SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Reuters) -- Texas has begun sending undercover agents into bars to arrest drinkers for being drunk, a spokeswoman for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission said Wednesday.

You can also find prostitutes in whore houses, crack peddlers in crack houses, and draft dodgers in white houses.


FLOATING DEATH TRAPS

Another reason I say never again.

Even when you get off the boat, you're still in danger.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

IT'S TRUE

Steve Jobs receives kick-backs from Dick Cheney for supplying iPods to our troops that come pre-loaded with propaganda disguised as pop music. Tony Blair likes boys. Mariah Carey is L. Ron Hubbard after extensive surgery. I swear it.

OH GREAT MORE GARBAGE

Can we stop now? How much completely non-bio-degradeable crap do we need to produce? This is sick. We are killing our planet, filling it up with junk. Do we need a new model videopod every six months? No. Until we find a way to store videos and music on vegetables, we should stop with the constant upgrading.

YORKE: SCREW BLAIR

LONDON, England (AP) -- Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke says he turned down the chance to discuss climate change with Tony Blair because the British prime minister has "no environmental credentials."

I have no doubt of Thom's assessment of Mr. Blair. I also think Thom just isn't cut out for the spokesman role - he's a bit too fragile emotionally to deal with prigs and warmongering capitalists. Best to leave that stuff to Bono, he's self righteous enough to wade through the muck of spin doctors, and Irish enough to stick to it for as long as it takes.


IS IT JUST ME OR IS GETTING A LITTLE WARM IN HERE?

story.gore.cnn.jpg

Monday, March 20, 2006

MELVIN BELI WHERE ARE YOU

I know we got a late start on this endeavor, but damn, it ain't easy. The whole point was to do it in April because April is Autism Awareness Month. I wanted to do it in April.

It's not going to happen in April.

I'm looking at May now. Just looking at the Trash Bar's may calendar, they have wednesday, May 10th open. I can do Wednesday May 10th.

Recent intelligence tells me that Strikes again might be available on May 10th. Strikes Again would be perfect for this show on so many levels it's completely ridiculous. I hope they make it.

I was looking to get The X's again. That made sense as well. A good buddy, a great band, a healthy draw for the cause. Alas, it seems The X's are a bit overextended gig-wise these days. I can only imagine. I saw them at The Continental on St. Patrick's Day. It was a madhouse. The band was on. They rocked the house.

I sent an e-mail to WWIX. I hope they can do the show. That would be awesome, as they are awesome, and it would be awesome if they were there.

The Ex-Con Doleeza set list is growing. Candidates include: Sister Ray, an Opal song I don't know the name of, Internet Axis of Evil, and I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend.

More to come......

AND YOU MAY ASK YOURSELF.....HOW DID I GET HERE?


Bush: Iraq center of war on terror


OVER HERE YOU GOT FAVORITISM........

story.rumsfeld.file.ap.jpg


WHAT'S IT GONNA BE BOYS.......ME OR HILL?



MINNESOTAN CONGRESSMAN RETIRES

This presents me with the opportunity to nominate Hue B. Mooksuki for a congressional seat. A fourth job for Hue, but as we all know, it's not a time consumning one.

DON'T EVEN TRY TO PULL THAT CRAP ON ME DONNY BOY

"Turning our backs on postwar Iraq today would be the modern equivalent of handing postwar Germany back to the Nazis." D. Rumsfeld

No, Don, it's not. Not at all. Get a clue. You can buy one, they are called books. Read one.

THE LADY DOTH PROTEST

LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- Actor Tom Cruise threatened to boycott promotion of his upcoming Paramount Pictures film unless a sister cable TV network pulled a "South Park" rerun lampooning the Church of Scientology, industry sources said on Friday. - CNN

Cruise and The Church of Scientology deny any connection to the change in South Park's schedule, but Parker and Stone released this statement, which is very funny:

"So, Scientology, you have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for Earth has just begun. Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!"

Can't take the heat Tom? Maybe because your an idiot. Here's a hint: admit you're gay, grow about six inches, stop making shitty movies - actually stop making movies altogether, and then, maybe we'll take you and your silly 'religion' seriously. Until then, you and Travolta better just get used to us pokin' a little fun at ya.

Not that there's anything wrong with it.......

DEFEATING THE PURPOSE

This is interesting. We're using up all the oil we're fighting to aquire. Of course we'd like some democracy on the side.

BYRIANI CHICKEN CURRY WITH PEROGIES

The Legal Diva and I had the pleasure of dogsitting for the Daly's while Paul and Leslie were in Texas doing the SXSW thing. The access to a kitchen was welcomed, and taken full advantage of. We invited Chan over and cooked up a feast.

A lot of roughly chopped garlic.
One chopped onion

In a pan with a bit of oil - get that shit hot!

Next in the pan: 1 pear - diced, 1 eggplant - diced.

Two chicken breasts cut into strips - sear them in the pan.

Cover in chicken stock - let simmer.

Add sliced okra and roasted red pepper strips.

(Normally I roast my own peppers, but lately I've been lazy and using canned pimentos)

Now add your Byrinai paste - about 6 tablespoons. Any curry will do, I like the paste, or cubes.

Simmer down!

Makes it's own gravy!

(I've lost Chris.)

Now you've been making rice, right? About 5 minutes before the rice is ready, add eight perogies to the curry.

Serve over the rice with Nan on the side. A jar of chutney is nice to have as well.

Enjoy in good health. Eggplant and okra are natural cholesterol reducing agents.

AUTISM AWARENESS SHOW

So, as far as the Trash Bar is concerned, we're out of luck for the 20th. The only day we can get there in April is the 24th - a Monday.

So - I ask you, what do you think? A Monday at Trash - a totally convenient locale, and a venue we have history with, or someplace else that we don't know we can even get?

Other related news:

Hue B. Mooksuki is going to try and make the show.

Hazmat, Chrispy and I have put a band together for the show - Ex Condoleezza. I think Hazmat is still working on the correct spelling. We will do an assortment of covers and originals. I have written one song for the band, the title of which I borrowed from my brother - 'Internet Axis of Evil'. Here's a verse:

'They got a spam-o-gram just for you
Tell you what they gonna do
They'll send out a virus
That get's down inside us
When we Google our Yahoo-oo'

Anyway, I'm leaning toward the devil we know (Trash Bar) on a Monday - but I want to hear from you - the public.

SURFACE NOISE

We had a session with Silk Sheets, the beat master behind Just One, and MC in his own right. After working on his new beats, we offered him some of my Vinyl to farm for future beats. My hope was to find some use for the 'Focus 3' LP I bought, which has great sounds, but lacks something - listenability! Wouldn't it be great if we used the record to make a record that somebody might actually want to hear? The trick with this type of accepted piracy is to find sounds that are 'free and clear'. Usually horn blasts, string swells, vocals, flute solos - that type of thing typically works well. I first put on King Crimson's 'Lizard' LP. Immediately Sheets found some usable material. We all sort of stood up and said hey, that's neat. I looked at the track listing. I hadn't noticed that King Crimson did Ravel's 'Bolero' on the 'Lizard' record - no wonder it was so good. Sheets found some good stuff on the Focus record too, I let him take them home to fully farm for phonic fun. Stay tuned for the results.

Friday, March 17, 2006

SURFACE NOISE

I got a lot of ground to cover here. I been busy. Here's the fruit of my labor.

In 1972 The Band made a live record, 'Rock of Ages'. Although I love The Band, and as much as a seminal influence they might be upon me.....

Okay I gotta explain that. In '79 and '80, as I was touring Europe with my folks, mostly staying at Army bases, so was The Band, in celluloid form. The Army gets it's movies second run, or at least they used to anyway, and so The Last Waltz was still playing around Germany and Italy at Army bases during that time. Being that I was Thirteen and alone in a foreign country with my parents, I was keen on the movies - often despite what was playing. I saw The Last Waltz five times in four months at a very impressionable age. I signed out the cassette of the The Last Waltz from the library and consumed those songs.

Until now the only record by The Band that I ever bought was the Greatest Hits package. It had pretty much the same tunes as the movie, I figured that was really all there was to The Band.

Obviously there was more, and I knew that, but hey man, I was BUSY.

Anyway, I'm listening to 'Rock of Ages'. It's good. It's certainly The Band, and there's a lot more Danko singing, so that's good. I'm digging on 'M.S. Walcott Medicine Show'. It's a song referenced, but not played, in The Last Waltz.

Overall the audience is mixed lower than the typical seventies live LP, which is relieving. It works well on Kiss Alive, but once you realize that it's usually not the audience, but an audience, you tend to turn off to that traditional farce. Then again I yearn for it when I begrudgingly listen to my least favorite live record - '4 Way Street'. That record sucks.

What do you call Crosby Still Nash and Young without Neil Young?

Those guys you can't figure out why Neil Young wastes his time hanging out with.

What has nine arms and sucks?

Def Leppard.

What did Rick Allen say to his roadie?

Give me a hand with this.

Okay, enough......Hey, Garth Hudson is doing his keyboard solo. He's got all kinds of neat effects, but honestly, and I have great respect for Garth, this solo sucks. It sounds like some real weak Keith Emmerson wannabe.....wait....he just went into 'Auld Lang Saine' (?sp).....wait, he just....wait now he's....Chest Fever!

That's why I bought this record. In The Last Waltz, when Martin Scorsese is interviewing Robbie and Levon, they start talking about Garth, and the video cuts (with audio underneath the voice over) to Garth's spotlight solo section. It's much the same, he's wailing away with some freaky effects, then-Pow! A riff just slams you, Garth launches into Chest Fever. It's one the all-time greatest riffs: E, D, E, A. Obvious. Perfect.

At the end of the day, I could listen to Levon Helm sing the phonebook. I'm predisposed to like The Band. I can't help it. I don't want to hang up my rock n roll shoes.

It's time to talk about the Germans again.

Very precise engineering.

I bought two Kraftwerk LPs. 'Man.Machine', and 'Trans Europe Express'.

Everything you heard on the radio, or on television, during the eighties comes from these records. There's a reason everybody talks about Kraftwerk's influence. Without your knowledge, they have permeated your psyche - you know this music, even if you've never heard it. You've heard the guys who have.

"From station to station
back to Dusseldorf City
Meet Iggy Pop and David Bowie
Trans-Europe Express"

Crap! It got late. I'm gonna have to continue this post later.

Still to come, Jackson listens to:

No Wave: A Musical Dip Into The Ocean Of Contemporary Sounds - Various Artists (1978, A&M)
Focus - Focus 3 (1972, Sire)
Amon Duul II - Made In Germany (1975, ATCO)
Andy Summers/Robert Fripp - I Advanced Masked (1982, A&M)
King Crimson - Lizard (1971, Atlantic)

Thursday, March 16, 2006

BLOG SPAWN

Alright gang. There's been a call to arms on two accounts:

1) An April Autism Awareness show.

April is Autism Awareness Month. Hazmat and Chrispy have pointed out the obvious. I will go by Trash Bar tomorrow and see if we can find a night in April to do it. I know I'll be in New Orleans the last weekend of April, and I'd like to be at the show, so time is kinda tight. If anybody has an alternative venue that we can score at a late date, get in touch.

I haven't spoken to any bands yet, but my feeling is that we can probably arrange a kick ass line-up real quick. Bands that come to mind include, but are not limited to:

Geek Farm
Figo
Strikes Again
The X's
WWIX
Chris Pace's Solo Album
Ted Wishes He Was Paul Westerberg Project

and many more....

2) Blizzard of Ozz Project

This is something we can do with a fair amount of ease. I know we still have to finish the Moving Pictures Project, and I'm 100% behind that project. Rob has the extended kit set up, and Dave seems itching to play, so let's book some time for that, and then let's do Blizzard. Tony can do the vocals in his sleep over a nasty liquor infused weekend, Dave can do Randy I'm sure......Machold is Machold......it's a no-brainer, and a great record.

DIGRESSION:

I remember going down to Atlanta to visit Brain with Tony and Greg in '98. Mitch was there, and Brian's band (Kirk and Caldwell). Jamming ensued, and after 'Bastille Day' somebody started in with the organ intro to 'Mr. Crowley'. Greg and I were real drunk, and when the chorus came round we chimed in with: 'mister blow me'. We thought it was a gas.

Anyway, let's do a show, make some records...whaddya say?

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH

Caesar was a pragmatist, and he paid for it.

Anyway, March 15 is also notable in that my niece Emily and my good friend Pat Wilson were both born on that day.

Speaking of Pat, he's been stolen. A framed photo of Pat (the guy with the fish) adorned the hall of 11 Hope Street for years now, and suddenly, last week, it went missing.

Assholes.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

304

That's how I scored on my cholesterol test. I was a walking time bomb. The doctor strongly recommended medication therapy. I took the opportunity to check out a drug I helped launch in Hawaii back in 2003, and have spent quite a bit of time listening to the sales leadership of AstraZeneca discuss since then. I'm talking about Crestor (rosouvostatin), which is the only drug in it's class proven to reduce plaque on arterial lining. Cool. I'll keep you posted. I'm on 10mg per day, eventually I'll end up at 40mg, if I tolerate it well. I might see some muscle weakness. If so, I may have to switch over to the other guy...you know who....big blue. Lipitor, Pfizer's statin, is less effecatious, but better tolerated, and it's covered on more health plans. We shall see.

IT AIN'T EASY......OR BIG

It looks like I'll be heading to New Orleans at the end of April. I'm excited about the prospect, but a bit leery of what will be waiting for me. The idea of doing a business meeting down there is a nice gesture, though I'm not sold on the practical application yet. I am glad to get a chance to see for myself how good/bad things are going.

HUEZINE




I found this irresistable photo on Hue's blog. Look in his eyes. I don't think you can get more in league with satan.

Mr. Cheney,
What went on in your head
Mr. Cheney,
Did you talk with the dead
Your life style to me seemed so tragic
With the thrill of it all
You fooled all the people with magic
You waited on Satan's call
Mr. Charming,
Did you think you were pure
Mr. Alarming,
In nocturnal rapport
Uncovering things that were sacred
Manifest on this Earth
Conceived in the eye of a secret
And they scattered the afterbirth

Yeah.......

MURDER WAS THE CASE THEY GAVE ME

Fuck. I got a fucking summons for fucking jury fucking duty. What a fucking drag. I don't wanna be a fucking juror. It's gonna fuck up everything! I simply got no time for this fucking shit.

Guilty.

Can I go now?

IT GET'S BETTER

Claude Allen, former White House aide accused of a 'returns' scam at a Hecht's department store, was still working for GW's gang, making 161,000 dollars a year, when he allegedly commited fraudulent merchandise returns. He resigned after his arrest.

This guy was making three times what I make.

I guess crooks is crooks, despite what they earn.

DARWIN STRIKES AGAIN

This is sad......but c'mon now. Attention deaf people, stay away from the train tracks!

THAT'S ROCK N' ROLL

I'm so happy! Not only did Black Sabbath and Lynyrd Skynyrd finally get their due at the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame after years of being snubbed, but the Sex Pistols gave back as good as Sabbath ever got when they told the Hall to piss off. "Kiss This" was Lydon's response.

I love it.

Blondie got into a bit of a row on stage when former members pleaded with Debbie Harry to let them play. No such luck for Frank Infante and Nigel Harrison. Here's a hint Frank, don't sue the band you want to play with. There might be a reason they didn't ask you along for the reunion, maybe you suck Frank.

I can't wait to watch it on March 21st. I just need a TV.

CIVIL WAR

Just about the last thing of any worth that Guns and Roses generated was a song called Civil War, and it began with the famous quote from Cool Hand Luke:

"What we've got here is failure to
communicate.
Some men you just can't reach...
So, you get what we had here last week,
which is the way he wants it!
Well, he gets it!
N' I don't like it any more than you men."

I never could understand what that quote had to do with the song until I read the news today about the reprisal, tit for tat, sectarian killings going on in Bagdad.

"More than 80 dead in apparent reprisal killings"

Two days worth of husbands and fathers. It reminds me of another song, Undercover of the Night, by the Rolling Stones.


"All the young men they’ve been rounded up
And sent to camps back in the jungle
And people whisper people double-talk
And once proud fathers act so humble"

By the end of the Vietnam conflict, the American exodus created a power vacuum in Cambodia. Enter the Khamir Rouge, Pol Pot, and mass murder under the guise of a 'cultural revolution'.

Are you ready to witness that again? Well get ready.

Will we ever learn to leave well enough alone?

Saturday, March 11, 2006

NHL TAKE ME AWAY

I saw some baseball on TV yesterday - eeeewwww.

The Hurricanes are still in Carolina, and are still not called the Whalers anymore, but they lead the Eastern Conference with a record of 43 wins, and 14 losses. They have scored a league leading 91 goals.

Tony's Thrashers are in 9th place in that same conference with a record of 30 and 27.

Hue's Wild? 11th place in the Western Conference. 30 and 28.

My Canucks are doing ok. They are 6th in the Western Conference at 35 and 23.

Like any true fan, I need to start hating some teams. I don't feel at all threatened by Hue's Wild, and being from Minnesota, a respectable hockey hub, I'll leave them alone.

I'm used to Dallas hating from the NFL, and being that Dallas is a crap town with no natural ice, the Stars have been elected to receive the full weight of my seething hatred. Stars. Even their name is stupid. They are number 2 in the Western Conference (41 and 19). I hate 'em.

I hate fucking Nashville too. Predators? I'm shocked to find not only does this shitty town in fucking Tennessee have a hockey team, but they are 4th in the Western Conference (Tennessee is west?), and they have almost as stupid of a name as the stupid Stars. Stupid.

Detroit and Calgary are first and third respectively in the Western Conference, but I can't hate on them. These are old school serious hockey towns, they deserve respect.

I'm not currently hating on Colorado (#5) either - yet. I'm okay with their name - Avalanche. It works with the whole Rocky mountain vibe, and there is natural ice in Colorado, so I'll leave 'em be - for now.

INTRODUCING MR. DUCK

It's lame duck time in DC, again. The GOP is hurriedly distancing itself from G.W. and the current gang at 1600 Pennsylvania. They're using the ports deal with the UAE as tool with which to logically put a barrier between themselves and the increasingly unpopular president. Two years ago, this wouldn't be the case. Two years ago the GOP would have presented a united front in defense of whatever silliness G.W. or his cronies wanted to put over. Not now. Now, because his time is nigh, we see the opposite. I almost feel bad for him. Almost.

THIS MAKES SENSE

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A former adviser to President Bush was arrested this week in Maryland and charged with swindling two department stores out of more than $5,000 in a refund scam.



STUPID COW

The widow of recently deceased mass murdering fuck-head Slobodan Milosevic has said:

"The tribunal killed my husband."

Shut up bitch.

Your dead husband killed tens of thousands innocent people. He deserved a fate far worse than he managed. The way I look at it honey, he got off easy.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

SURFACE NOISE vol 3

I believe in bio-rhythms. I have cycles. I'm in a vinyl cycle.

Ever since Happy Boy moved out here to Williamsburg in 2001, people have warned me about Ear Wax, a record store on Bedford. 'Assholes' was the word used most often. I'm not sure about that. There was only one guy workin' there when I went in for the first time today, and he didn't say much except 'cash or credit'.

I bought stuff.

In 1976 Neil Young released 'Tonight's The Night'.


[TTN album cover]


I already have a copy of this record, but it's seriously worn, and a new, sealed edition for 10 bucks was certainly up my alley. I'm sure Chris will enjoy having it at the studio.

Over the course of 73-75 Neil young lost a number of friends and associates to heroin.

"I hit the city and I lost my band...."

Nils Lofgren assumed the role of the dearly departed Danny Whitten in Crazy Horse. Neil did his 'Harvest' thing, and after some time they all got back together and made this very loose, very dark, incredibly evocative record.

There are no hits from this one. The title track, and 'Come On Baby Let's Go downtown' have been enduring numbers for Neil over the years, but over all, this record is about a time and place in Neil's soul, and it's best left there.

Side Two is sublime. 'Roll Another Number' followed by 'Albequerque' just gets me, deep down.

"Well, they say that Santa Fe is less than ninety miles away
And I got time to roll a number, and rent a car

Oh Albuquerque"

'Tired Eyes' kills me. Dylan wishes he could be so visceral.

Well, it wasn't
supposed to go
down that way.
But they burned his brother,
you know,
And they left him lying
in the driveway.
They let him down with nothin'.
He tried to do his best
but he could not.

Please take my advice,
please take my advice
Please take my advice.
Open up the tired eyes,
Open up the tired eyes.

Well tell me more,
tell me more,
tell me more
I mean was he a heavy doper
or was he just a loser?
He was a friend of yours.
What do you mean,
he had bullet holes
in his mirrors?
He tried to do his best
but he could not.

Lou Reed's 'Berlin' is most likely the saddest most disturbing popular recording of all time, but Neil comes in at number two here. Neil likes being number two. Crazy Horse is, after all, according to Neil, the second greatest garage band of all time. He never said who's number one. I don't think he knows, I just think he's comfy with being number two - less pressure.

Speaking of Lou, I also picked up a copy of 'Transformer'.

44541-2


Again, I have this one already, as does Chris. It was five bucks, and I wanted it....NOW. It's a bit worn, but it's 'Transformer' for chrissakes!

Chris and I spar a bit over this record. He's a real Lou fan, and likes pretty much everything Lou does - I understand that. I have a similar thing with other acts (Bowie). I tend to goad Chris by saying things like: "It took Bowie to get a good record out of Lou", or "It's the best thing he ever did". The problem is that I really believe those things. This LP has Bowie, and, even more pervasively, Mick Ronsosn all over it. In fact, one could say that the record was most influenced (outside of Lou - he wrote the album!) by Mick.

"You're going to reap just what you sow"

...and I will.

It's fairly safe to say that it's Lou's most successful solo record. 'New York' might have sold more copies - I don't know - but you hear these songs; 'Walk on the Wild Side', 'Perfect Day', 'Viscous', 'Satellite Of Love' more than any other post VU Lou tunes.


At the same time that Neil was doing 'Tonight's the Night' and Lewis Reed was toying with a person he created called Lou Reed, a German prog band by the mane of 'Gong' released an album called 'Shamal'.

Shamal

I have been hearing about Gong, and reading about Gong for over twenty years.

I bought.

Johnny Rotten played a Gong record when he was guest DJ on Radio Luxembourg (circa 76) - I don't know which. I have a record by another German prog band called Amon Duul II (umlauts not provided, they go over both U's). Apparently there was an Amon Duul at some point previously. I like that record, and I like this one.

It's very well recorded, with very precise instruments.

I'm betting Tony Alva wouldn't have let his brother play this one twice in the room with orange walls. I don't think it would have lasted a whole side, not even with the US Bongs Capitol Hill in action. There is some seriously wailing guitar, but you have to look for it between flute solos.

Five years before all of that, what seems both a lifetime and an instant way, the Stooges spent some time at Elektra Sound Recorders in L.A. making what would become the 'Funhouse' record.

EKS-74071


I bought myself the same 180 gram edition I bought Fred for Christmas. It's good. Real good. This is the record where they used a PA in the live room. This is also the album that nobody bought when it came out, the label dropped them, and Iggy put himself in a state of homeless drug addiction prior to giving up on rock and roll and moving back home to Michigan.

He would be brought of retirement by, ahem....David Bowie.

Rock On.

OUT TO LUNCH

I've been spending a great deal of time at Main Drag Music lately. I bought the Ampeg B-25B there. Apparently it was on consignment, so they are waiting to hear back from that guy before they can re-cap the amp. In the mean time, I brought my Epiphone double cut-away (think SG) Junior in to be set up for the open G, 5-string, Keith tuning (G,D,G,B,D). Chris and I were having some intonation issues while working on the long awaited, eagerly anticipated, Ted Record, or my 'Rock and Roll' record, as I've been calling it. It might be called 'Stoned Again', which would befit the record on account of all the dealings going on at Main Drag - these guys are seriously stoned.

Anyhoo....

Popping in and out of Main Drag, as I've been doing, as I've mentioned, I noticed a Les Paul Special double cut away copy (Ashland by Crafter). Basically it's a Chinese made version of this:


I've always wanted one. Ian Hunter, Joan Jett, Johnny Thunders, and Paul Stanley are notable Rock Gods who have played one. The one I saw, was blonde. I'd have accepted the mahogany finish (above), but was quite happy with the blonde, and I bought it.

195 dollars.

A Gibson would cost me 5 times that amount.

I played it at the store, through a Fender Super Reverb, and it sounded great, it played well too.

I called George when I got it back to the studio, I wanted him to set it up for me. He shook his head when he saw it. "ASHLAND! WHY?"

Well I had George plug it into Chris' Fender Deluxe. It sounded awesome! Two P-90's!

He was duly convinced of it's worth, and now I'm waiting for him to have lunch.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

SURFACE NOISE vol. 2




I can't begin to hurl superlatives at this record. I've been through two vinyl copies. The first one developed a skip right at the best part of 'Irene Wilde'. Couldn't have that.

What could be better than Ian and Mick Ronson with a super tight band running through Mott and Hunter tunes? Not much. The live version of the forementioned 'Irene Wild' is reason enough to own this two record set. Throw in awesome versions of 'just Another Night', 'All The Way From Memphis', 'Cleveland Rocks', 'I Wish I Was Your Mother', 'All The Young Dudes', and 'Rock and Roll Queen', and well, you've got yourself one of the best live records of all time.

Trust me.


I was also listening to this record:


Hotter Than Hell album cover



My copy is 29 years old. It sounds at least that old. If I bought a new one, I'd probably still listen to this copy. I'm used to the pops, they're part of the record.

SPEAK OF THE DEVIL

Ozzy Osbourne,Speak Of The Devil + 7


It makes sense. Randy had just died. Sharon saw Ozzy headed for yet another breakdown. In order to keep the Crazy Train rolling while Ozzy could take a quick break, get a new band, and get back out there, new product was needed. Book the Ritz in NYC, record a couple nights of Sabbath tunes, get it in the bins fast.

I bought it. I listened to it quite a bit back in 82. I recently revisited it after many years of neglect. Rudy Sarzo sucks. His tone is limp and his playing a shambles. Tommy Aldridge sounds like he's having a blast just winging it. Brad Gillis.....too much whammy! In their defense, they probably didn't know they were gonna have to play all those Sabbath tunes. I'm sure 'Paranoid', 'Iron Man' and maybe 'War Pigs' were on the Ozzy tour set list, but 'Symptom of the Universe'? 'Children of the Grave'? Certainly Rudy, Tommy, and Brad hadn't been playing 'Never Say Die' very frequently.

Given the back story it becomes an interesting document of the time, and a fun listen. Ozzy comes off well. There's some suspicious doubling going on in the breakdown sections of 'Sabbath Bloody Sabbath' and elsewhere. Methinks Ozzy visited The Record Plant after The Ritz. I don't think Sharon wanted to pay for anybody else to do any fixin'.

All in all, I can't recommend the record to those who don't already have it. It's one for the faithful, but a fun revisit if your so inclined.

Monday, March 06, 2006

SURFACE NOISE vol. 1

I spend a goodly amount of blog acreage going on about LP's. I've decided to put all that under an umbrella called 'Surface Noise'.

Chris brought over a pile of records. I noticed he had been listening to his white vinyl edition of Luna's 'The Days of Our Nights'.



He said the white vinyl sounds a bit off. I have a green vinyl edition of Raven's 'Crash Bang Wallop' EP. I couldn't tell you how the colored vinyl sounds, it's buried under all that Raven.

Crash! Bang! Wallop!

My brother Fred and my nephew Josh gave me a new 200 gram vinyl edition of the Arctic Monkeys record 'Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not'. Despite the unfortunate title, I like the record. Much like a number of recent Brit rock bands, The Arctic Monkeys stand on the shoulders of The Clash, The Jam, and The Gang of Four. I'm fine with that. Good shoulders.



I like the Arctic Monkeys record, and I'm listening to it for the third time - all the way through. This sort of thing rarely happens. The last time I listened to a new band with any regularity it was The Streets, and I believe Fred already made that connection.

I gave Sabbath 'Vol. 4' a spin. This would be the 180 gram vinyl edition I blogged about last summer. George came in while it was on. "This is Sabbath", he declared. The undeniable groove of 'Supernaut' was filling the room. "Yeah, the Robots are into this."



Robot friendly or not, 'Vol. 4' is just an amazing slab of heavy.

Chris and I listened to a good bit of 'Signals' (Rush), 'Only Life' (The Feelies), 'The Boy With The Arab Strap' (Belle and Sebastian), 'Doggystyle' (Snoop), 'The Slider' (T.Rex), and "Rock and Roll Animal (Lou).

There's something about the immediate tangebility of Vinyl. You pull out the disc, place it on the turntable, put the needle down. It puts the listener in the process in a way that cd's and mp3's don't. It's like driving a standard vs. an automatic transmission. There's no comparison.

PLACE YOUR AD HERE

Chris tells me that Podbalze is canceling all of it's free accounts. Until now, you could sign up and get free space to the tune of 50 mb or something - I forget because I became a paid member so I could get around the limited space. Free as it was, it weren't enough for my podcasting habit.

Speaking of which the new March edition, MickMarsuary (I have to give Chris credit for that one) is up here. You have to scroll for it. They're telling me I've hit my space limit. They always say that.

Anyway, back to the point. Advertising couldn't keep podblaze free. Is this the fault of the company - not energetic enough to get in the public's eye? Or is it the fault of the business model? Does on-line advertising work for the small guy?

Have at it, gents.

Friday, March 03, 2006

AMPEG B-25B

I bought my first bass amp. I like it.



Hopefully soon we'll get to use it. People need thier lunch and all.

FRUSTRATING BOOK, FRUSTRATING BAND





I love The Kinks. Most people like The Kinks - 'You Really Got Me', 'Sunny Afternoon', 'Tired of Waiting'. They'll turn 'em up when they come on the radio. I love them. It ain't easy. There's a lot wrong with the Kinks, and there's a lot wrong with 'The Kinks' by Neville Marten & Jeff Hudson - mostly Neville and Jeff.

I hate these guys.

I'm glad I read the book because I gleaned some trivial info (Lola is Candy Darling...sort of), but Neville and Jeff fuck it up by inserting their stupid anglocentric - fan dominated, British Top 40 point of view on a band who abandoned such bullshit in 1968.

The popular English view of The Kinks is that they were over by 1970, 'Lola' being a freakish last gasp chart-topper.

That makes me mad.

I like the early singles oriented Kinks as much as anybody. It's undeniable stuff. I prefer the late seventies early eighties Kinks. An argument could be made that I enjoy that period more because it coincides with my 'magic music age'. It is true that I tend to revel in the music of that period, it was, after all my adolescence.

In 1975 The Kinks left RCA and signed with Clive Davis and Arista. After six years (69 - 75) of concept records and vaudvillian tours, Ray Davies decided to make rock and roll records again. Dwindling sales may have played a part in this shift, but it's more likely that Ray just wanted to. He's that kinda guy.

'Sleepwalker' ushered in this period in 1976. 'Juke Box Music', with it's chorus of: "Juke box music, It's only juke box music" seemed to set the tone.



1978 gave us 'Misfits' and 'Rock and Roll Fantasy'; a song that brilliantly surmised the band at that juncture.



In 1979 The Kinks delivered what I believe is their most consistent, indeed their best album - 'Low Budget'.



Most Kinks records have two or three great songs, two or three decent ones, and two or three turds. 'Low Budget' has no turds, and seven great songs: the title track, 'Catch Me Now I'm Falling', '(I Wish I Could Fly Like) Superman', 'National Health', 'Pressure', 'Attitude', and 'Little Bit of Emotion'.

Seven great songs is no small feat for any band, much less a band given up for dead by their home country. Fortunately for The Kinks, America in the late seventies was very receptive to them, and 'Low Budget' placed higher and sold more than any previous Kinks record - in America.

Neville and Ken aren't American. They didn't get it. They didn't get 1981's 'Give the People What They Want' either.



Again, in my rarely humble opinion, 'GTPWTW" is their second best record. Side Two alone is better than any other Kinks record next to 'Low Budget'. I guess Ray wasn't giving the English people what they wanted, which was more 'Waterloo Sunset'.

At any rate, The Kinks are a great and inconsistent band. Undeniable greatness coupled with undeniable failure. I can only aspire to such.

Neville and Jeff can suck my ass.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

RICK DANKO

I bought the DVD of 'The Last Waltz'. The Legal Diva had never seen it. I have no way to ensure the accuracy of this statement, but I must have seen this movie seven thousand times. I'm down for seven thousand more.

There's so much I love about this movie. I love how Levon Helm and Robbie Robertson explain the evolution of Rock n' Roll to Martin Scorsese in about four minutes. I love the guest performers, and I love Rick Danko.

There's a scene where Danko is showing Scorsese around some recording studio. They walk around, and Rick explains that the decor is due to the fact that the place used to be a brothel. They wind up in the control room, and Scorsese asks Rick; "So what are you doing now?"

(If you haven't seen this movie, it's about a farewell concert)

Rick responds (tilting hat down over very heavy lidded eyes): (aside - to engineer: "play that back...") "uhhhh, (pushes a few faders into place, kicks cowboy booted feet up onto console) makin' music."

Goddamn Fuckin A Right.

Makin' Music.

"Crazy Chester followed me
And he caught me in the fog
He said: I'll fix your rack
If you'll take Jack, my dog
I said: Wait a minute Chester
I'm a peaceful man
He said: That's okay son
Won't you feed him when you can"

Yep

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