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Friday, July 01, 2005

SOME KIND OF MONSTER

I finally got around to watching the Metallica therapy movie. In 1984, when Metallica's first record 'Kill 'Em All' came out I was not a fan. Though they were inspired by the very same NWOBHM (New Wave Of Brittish Heavy Metal) that I was listening to, they didn't sound like it. It was all the agression and speed without the melody. It seemed dumb. Well, what they began, 'Thrash', became a subgenre of an ever dividing fractionalized style of music, and I wasn't pleased with any of it. I guess I have always blamed Metallica (and the LA hair bands) for destroying something I loved. Most of my hatred of Metallica has been tossed in the direction of Lars Ulrich (drums). I always found him to be an effacious turd, a blow-hard, and an egomaniac. Lars, I'm sorry. After watching this movie I feel not only was I wrong about the guy, I feel we have quite a bit in common. Quite obviously the asshole in the band is James Hetfiled, and if I were Jason Newstead (bass) I'd have quit after the 'Load' they dropped five years ago. Therapy seems so un-metal, and Metallica is supposed to BE metal. I guess most people had this sort of reaction, but apparently it was neccesary for them if they wanted to continue. I do not believe that one can ever take the asshole out of Hetfield however, and thus there will always be tension in the Metallica camp. Some say tension gets results and sparks creativity. Maybe for like, a minute, but then it's back to "I hate you". Unfortunately for Lars and Kirk Hammett (guitar), they are locked in with Hetfield. They need a Tom Tom Club of their own. I suggest drop James' white trash ass, and give Jason a call.

Comments:
Maybe therapy is what your band needs before Tedstock. Somebody should document this event and everything leading up to it. The trailer could be Chris showing up for the first rehersal, plugging in, asking for more reverb, and then quitting. Then Jackson says, "Whahappen!!!"
 
A movie is a great idea.

If Chris wants reverb, he'll just do it, he's self sufficient like that. Now, if Rob doesn't clip his guitar strings, well then that's another story.
 
Definitely a movie.

I plan to quit several times between now and the actual show, and possibly quit during the show and afterward as well, if it can be done. All of this will be documented in the documentary "I Quit The Band: A Very Happy Boy Reunion."

I'm not standing anywhere near any unclipped strings, by the way. Not gonna happen. I'm bringing my clippers, so everyone better stand back.
 
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