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Tuesday, December 13, 2005


You know who you are. You are sick, admit it. You need help. I want my lighter back. If I had every lighter you stole from me, I'd need a room to store them all. I know they only cost a dollar, but over six years that's a lot of dollars buddy.

Whoever this lighter thief is, I'll bet that he's left a few behind in his day as well. Not to mention things to smoke with it...

Strangely, when I got home last night I found that I had an orange lighter in my pocket, which I know isn't mine. How funny!

I hope you find out who's doing it. If you can give the lighter thief some concrete numbers regarding how much money he's stolen from you via lighters he'd probably be willing to take it off your housecleaning bill.
I'm not interested in reimbursement. I'm only thinking of this person's well being. His condition is chronic and acute.
Have you considered an intervention?
I did, but I couldn't find anybody else who gave a shit. One person does not an intervention make, that's an argument.
Well then have an argument.

Just don't mention Roger Waters.
Roger Waters is a lighter thief as well as a commie tax exile?
Roger Waters stole copy of "The Conscience of a Conservative" by Barry Goldwater when he damned well KNEW he had like ten of his own copies.

BTW, the orange lighter was mine from Saturday.
So was the stolen lighter actually already stolen?
I purchased the Orange Bic lighter on Friday night at a deli on Park Ave and 20th Street, if Dave 'left' an Orange lighter at Smoke and Mirrors on Saturday, well then I think we all know where to look for that one. Clearly Buck is hoarding them under his bed.
Has anyone checked George's room?

Buck is partial to Zippos.
That makes sense, Buck is a veteran, and vets tend to go the Zippo route.
he's also a GOOD BOY.
Who's a Doodle? Is Buck a Doodle? Yes he is. Yes he is.

A wuzza wuzza wuzza.

Oh my God. Dave and I are both insane.
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