Savage Distortion

Whoever this lighter thief is, I'll bet that he's left a few behind in his day as well. Not to mention things to smoke with it...

Strangely, when I got home last night I found that I had an orange lighter in my pocket, which I know isn't mine. How funny!

I hope you find out who's doing it. If you can give the lighter thief some concrete numbers regarding how much money he's stolen from you via lighters he'd probably be willing to take it off your housecleaning bill.
 

I'm not interested in reimbursement. I'm only thinking of this person's well being. His condition is chronic and acute.
 

Have you considered an intervention?
 

I did, but I couldn't find anybody else who gave a shit. One person does not an intervention make, that's an argument.
 

Well then have an argument.

Just don't mention Roger Waters.
 

Roger Waters is a lighter thief as well as a commie tax exile?
 

BTW, the orange lighter was mine from Saturday.
 

So was the stolen lighter actually already stolen?
 

I purchased the Orange Bic lighter on Friday night at a deli on Park Ave and 20th Street, if Dave 'left' an Orange lighter at Smoke and Mirrors on Saturday, well then I think we all know where to look for that one. Clearly Buck is hoarding them under his bed.
 

Has anyone checked George's room?

Buck is partial to Zippos.
 

That makes sense, Buck is a veteran, and vets tend to go the Zippo route.
 

he's also a GOOD BOY.
 

Who's a Doodle? Is Buck a Doodle? Yes he is. Yes he is.

A wuzza wuzza wuzza.
 

DOODLE ZEE ZEE BO BO!

Oh my God. Dave and I are both insane.