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Thursday, February 21, 2008

JACKSON '08





Okay, I've had enough. My hat is in the ring. Write me in, yo.


Item 1) Immediate withdrawal of all US troops in Iraq.
Item 2) Take insurance out of the health care equation.
Item 3) Legalize gay marriage.
Item 4) Legalize marijuana.
Item 5) Free Telecasters for everyone.

Comments:
I think you are on to something with this "Legalize Gay Marijuana" plank.
 
I go three for four on your stump.

I've got issues with legalizing gay marijuana though. Bi-marijuana maybe, but I don't think this country is ready for gay marijuana...
 
Queer Dope 08!
 
You've got my vote, Sir. Who'll be your running mate, Keith Richards? Oh no, he wasn't born in the US.
 
Can we make the marijuana free too?
 
This platform didn't work for Kucinich; why do you think it'll work for you?

Burn that jacket.
 
Aha! Kucinich didn't have the jacket, AND he had a horrible name. Jackson is a proven winner. I will leave such legacies as 'The Trail of Beers', and since there's no more territories left to buy from France or Spain I'll just buy France and Spain.
 
No, you still gotta buy your weed my friend, but you'll be buying from Uncle Sam, and those dollars will go to theme parks in France and Spain.
 
Whatever you do, DO NOT burn that jacket! Didn't Tommy Chong run on a guitar in every room platform?
 
That was in the blue prints for Vatoland.
 
But the name didn't work for Jesse.
 
I'm OK with most of that. Except, make it a Gibson SG--the real unsung hero of American guitar craftsmanship, in an age where nothing is made here anymore. And what of that weed? Will in be grown on U.S. soil or harvested on the backs of child labor in some far off place?
 
Isn’t part of the problem that for 47 million Americans insurance already has nothing to do with their health care?
 
Child labor is fine. Give a kid a career early and give them a chance to excel. Besides their little fingers are good for wiring the guitars, not too big to fit in there. They are like diligent little fingered indentured beavers toiling away at their life’s calling. “YOU FORGOT TO GROUND IT! THAT’S IT, WE ARE SELLING YOUR LITTLE SISTER!” How about gay hemp guitars? A Hempecaster.
 
I love eggs.
 
Hazmat, two words: Hymie Town

Bullseye, those who don't want Teles can opt for a Gibson Les Paul Jr. You'll still have to buy an SG if that's your axe o' choice.

Also, all kind bud sold by Uncle Sam will be grown here in the USA - BUT - you can special order hash from our dear good friends in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

JoeMan - Insurance and health care are not the same thing. Ask a Canadian, or a Brit, or a Frenchie....Insurance is why health care is costly, take insurance out of the equation and we can offer free comprehensive health care to every citizen. This is what is fucking up the US - Insurance, we are beholden to Insurance Corpoartions, they own congress and the current President as well as the frontrunners in the current election. When Hillary and Obama talk about universal health insurance, they want to force you to buy insurance by penalizing you (they'll go after your wages) if you don't. Sounds dreadful to me.

Those 47 Million won't need insurance - nobody will.

Gay Hemp Guitars however desrve looking into. I'll get back to you on that one.

Christina, I love aggs too! Maybe I'll look into free chickens.....
 
Oh yeah, that Hymie Town comments was classic. I was just talking about that with people recently. Amazingly I was the only one who remembered it.

Jackson is the new Jackson!
 
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