Savage Distortion

A BEAUTIFUL MESS

In 1986 my brother and Brian Spears, separately but simultaneously, turned me on to The Replacements. I was hooked immediately. They were a perfect fit for me. The Replacements were refreshing; during a time when nearly everything in Rock was polished to perfection, the Mats had not a shit to give.

Notorious for disastrous gigs and absolute intoxication, the contrast of the brilliant songwriting of Paul Westerberg set a perfect dichotomy that spoke to me, as it did many others.

The album that was first thrust upon me by the previously mentioned parties - people whose taste I trusted implicitly, was the Sire Records debut, 'Tim'.






'Tim' marks a critical moment in the band's development, and is considered by many to be their best work. As previously noted, it was their major label debut, having released their first three records on the independent Twin Tone label. By this time two major developments had occurred that would greatly affect the band. Paul had become a great songwriter, and Bob had become a problem. Though Bob's guitar playing on 'Tim' is vital, by the time they recorded the follow up, 1987's 'Pleased to Meet Me', Bob was no longer in the band.

'Tim' was your quintessential College Radio success, and it brought them to another level regardless of, and despite the fact that they didn't really belong there. They could play well, but often they didn't. There would be on-stage band fights, both verbal and physical, and impromptu attempts covering tunes they didn't really know. It could be very entertaining, but it could also be very disappointing.

The record, however, did not disappoint.

The single was 'Bastards of Young', a brilliant ode to angst.

"God, what a mess, on the ladder of success
Where you take one step and miss the whole first rung
Dreams unfulfilled, graduate unskilled
It beats pickin' cotton and waitin' to be forgotten"

Uptempo, loud, an unstable, 'Bastards of Young' sounded like I felt much of the time in my early twenties.

The video is genius.

I never much cared for how the record kicks off. Although the opener, 'Hold My Life', and the second cut, 'I'll Buy', have grown on me over the years, I'm still not a big fan of the third song - and second single, 'Kiss Me on the Bus'.

The following eight songs, however, fell into heavy rotation on Jackson's turntable and cassette player.

'One Good Dose of Thunder' succinctly sums up cocaine use over a barrage of sublime volume rock.

"Goin' down t' the pool hall
Lookin' for the eight ball
When it comes, when it comes
Only want a little, you'll need a ton"

It was 'Waitress in the Sky' and 'Swingin' Part' that sealed the deal for Jackson.

'Waitress...' is a snarky swipe at flight attendants set over a simple acoustic arrangement, and it highlights Westerberg's masterful turn of a phrase.

"Sanitation expert and a maintenance engineer
Garbage man, a janitor and you my dear
A real union flight attendant, my oh my
You ain't nothin' but a waitress in the sky"

I think 'Swingin' Party' is the best song on the record. Set to a smoky jazz combo lounge act feel, 'Swingin' Party' is declaration of the righteousness of apathy, defeatism, and bad behaviour.

"Bring your own lampshade, somewhere there's a party
Here it's never endin', can't remember when it started
Pass around the lampshade, there'll be plenty enough room in jail

If bein' wrong's a crime, I'm serving forever
If bein' strong's your kind, then I need help here with this feather
If bein' afraid is a crime, we hang side by side
At the swingin' party down the line"

Lyrically 'Lay It Down Clown' isn't much, but it rocks well enough, and I never bothered to lift the needle when it came on.

'Left of the Dial' is superb. Watching 'Microdot' play this for me at TEDSTOCK was a highlight of my life. I think I know what this song is about, and I'd like to get some feedback on this. The Replacements previous record, 'Let it Be' was produced by Peter Buck of R.E.M., a band who was about to leap to the next level themselves. I have no actual knowledge to back up my theory, but I think that Paul felt abandoned by Peter after the project wrapped, and not too little envious of R.E.M.'s ensuing success.

"Read about your band in some local page
Didn't mention my name, you didn't mention my name
Sweet Georgia breezes, safe, cool and warm
I headed up north, you headed north

On and on and on and on
What side are you on?
On and on and on and on
What side are you on?

And if I don't see ya, in a long, long while
I'll try to find you
Left of the dial"

An excellent example of Westerberg's considerable talent comes in 'Little Mascara' where he manages, as he so often has, to soundly represent a personal condition, the condition of a human, complicated as we all are, in a few lines of verse.

"For the moon you keep shootin'
Throw your rope up in the air
For the kids you stay together
You nap 'em and you slap 'em in a highchair
All you ever wanted was someone to take care of ya
All you're ever losin' is a little mascara"

The album wraps with the superb 'Here Comes a Regular'. An acoustic guitar, with some help from some subtle keyboard padding is the sparse backdrop to a perfect character study which I'm sure doubles as self observation.

In '86 I was twenty-one, I hadn't logged enough time in any bar to be considered a regular, much less have any understanding of such a distinction and what the baggage attached might be. Paul did. Since that time I have become all too familiar with the phenomenon. Both in practice and observation. I can attest that Paul's observation, or testament of practice is spot on.

Well, a person can work up a mean mean thirst
After a hard day of nothin' much at all
Summer's past, it's too late to cut the grass
There ain't much to rake anyway in the fall

Sometimes I just ain't in the mood
To take my place in back with the loudmouths
You're like a picture on a fridge that's never stocked with food,
I used to live at home, now I stay at the house

And everybody wants to be special here
They call your name out loud and clear
Here comes a regular, call out your name
Here comes a regular,
Am I the only one here today

Well a drinking buddy that's bound to another town
Once the police made you go away
And even if you're in the arms of someone's baby now
I drink a great big whiskey to you anyway

And everybody wants to be someone's here
Someone's gonna show up never fear
Here comes a regular, call out your name
Here comes a regular,
Am I the only one who feels ashamed

And even alongside old sad eyes, who says
"Opportunity knocks once then the door slams shut"
All I know is that I'm sick of everything that my money can buy
A fool who wastes his life God rests his guts

First the lights, and the collar goes up,and the wind begins to blow
Turn your back, gonna pay you back last call
First the plants, the leaves, the grass and here comes the snow
There ain't much to rake here anyway in the fall"

At the time most of my friends didn't get it. I'd put the Replacements on during parties and the reaction was always cool. The people wanted 'Pour Some Sugar On Me'. They wanted slick, and The Mats were not slick.

The band would release two more records, 1987's 'Please to Meet Me', 1989's 'Don't Tell a Soul', and 1990's 'All Shook Down'. Bob was replaced by Slim Dunlap who was not in Bob's league, but I guess Paul was comfy with him.

It seems that after 'Tim', what was comfy for Paul was what the focus was on. I love both 'Please to Meet Me' and 'Don't Tell a Soul', but it was clear that The Mats were fast becoming the Paul Westerberg Band.

By 'All Shook Down' that was exactly the case. Paul had dissolved the band. The problem was Sire Records wasn't comfy with that. The band owed them another record, and a Paul Westerberg solo album was not what they had in mind. Paul was forced to release the record as a Replacements album. Chris left the band before a short lived tour, and the Replacements were then formally put to rest.

Chris went on to a solo career that, at least initially, was met with critical success. Paul has enjoyed a life after The Mats that has brought him creative control, unhampered sobriety, and, one would hope happiness. Tommy, in time, would find a home helping Axl Rose not finish 'Chinese Democracy'.

Bob died.

Slim has a band and can be seen playing in and around The Replacements hometown of Minneapolis.

Jackson still gives them plenty of spin time.

THUNDER AND LIGHTNING

In 1983 Thin Lizzy released what was billed as, and indeed was their last LP. The two previous records were generally accepted as lacking. The band was tired, Phil and Scott were severe dope fiends, and the forecast was extremely gloomy.






Chinatown was recorded during the same time as Phil's first solo record. There wasn't much direction. As Phil was producing both records simultaneously, there was a great deal of confusion amongst the various musicians about what record was being worked on on any given day, or hour.

Snowy White, who had replaced the ever walking out Gary Moore, who had stepped in for the brilliant problem, accident walking Robo, was, and is, a great talent, but he wasn't a great fit for Lizzy. His stage presence was compared to that of a Quaalude. He may have been live, but he wasn't very dangerous.

Renegade wasn't much better. Though it is a more focused effort, the material was still lacking the magic of yore..


All that considered, it is surprising that they managed to pull themselves together for Thunder and Lightning.

They surprised everybody.

Most of their fans, the industry, and certainly the press had given them up for over.

Delightfully, for those fans who were still paying attention, Phil still had something to give, and most likely, something to prove.





I bought it when it came out, sort of surprised to see it in the bins. 'Et tu, Brute' indeed, as Jackson had written them off as well.

I was in for a remonstration of the most satisfying kind.

Phil well knew the criticisms. The band had lost the swagger, the muscle. They had not been bad-ass.

He fixed that.

Snowy moved on the prop up the ailing Pink Floyd, and John Sykes came aboard the seemingly rudderless ship Thin Lizzy.

Formerly of Tygers of Pan Tang, the future Whitesnake gun and hair for hire Sykes brought his amazing guitar skills to the Lizzy, but more importantly, he woke up the sleeping spark in Phil's soul, albeit for the last time.

The album opens with the title track, a slap in the face jaw dropping rocket on a rail of a track, putting to rest any doubt of Thin Lizzy's ability to deliver the goods. The song simply blisters as Phil invites us along to a bar fight.

In other words, Thin Lizzy was back, so keep your distance.

The second track keeps the pace break-neck, but deftly opens things up with a sparse arrangement featuring new addition Darren Wharton laying down rich synth pads. Such flirtation with lame-ass wimpy keyboards is all forgotten when Sykes and Gorham trade off on some serious fretplay.

The songs narrative, on the surface, seems devoid of any real substance, but Phil has masterfully disguised a moment of confession behind a typical statement of bravado. Much of Phil's eighties output are thinly veiled cries for help. The problem was that the veil was menacing. You couldn't help him if you valued your well being.

'When the Sun Goes Down' takes you further down the same road. The tempo is taken way down, the soundscape opens up even more. The song is driven by a call and response melody between the bass and a chiming guitar, over which Phil tells us how horrible of a husband he is, and that at the end, the sun goes down.

Both 'This Is the One' and 'The Sun Goes Down' contain christian images and references. Mainly apocalyptic, Phil seems to be trying to connect with whatever faith he can muster, and the most apparent example of this is the fourth track (end of side one to the faithful), 'Holy War'.

The riff, melody, production, and performance on 'Holy War' is so killer that it would be easy to overlook what might seem to be a flawed narrative, but given what we know of Phil all these many years later, and the previously discussed Christ jag he was on, the holy war is his own personal struggle for salvation in the face of his self destruction - a conscious self destruction.

The second side of the LP isn't as good. It starts off well, however, with a classic Lynott character study of a professional gambler. 'Cold Sweat' meets all the marks: great riff, great hook, witty lyrics and shredding licks.

The rest of side two is lacking. The titles are illuminating as far as they shed a light on the major factors driving Phil's life in his last years: 'Someday She Is Going to Hit Back', 'Baby Please Don't Go', 'Bad Habits', 'Heart Attack'.

While none are wholly lame, none provide the goods. 'Bad Habits' could have been a great tune. It has the riff and melody, and the first verse is good, but, well.......the song isn't finished.

While 'Thunder and Lighting' doesn't rank with 'Jailbreak' or 'Bad Reputation', it has its charms, its revelations, and its triumphs. Thin Lizzy had their comeback, their endless farewell world tour, and a light at the end of the tunnel.

That light would mean different things to different people, as it always does.

SEN. MAVERICK?




Sen. John McCain blasted the Bush administration's lack of competence in face of Hurricane Katrina yesterday. He also concurred that bears shit in the woods, and that the Pope is Catholic.

No comment on the funny hats.

........WELL IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME

I don't know exactly why I love this so much (I'm only talking about the first tune). I was watching the Last Waltz (yet again) with the Legal Diva a few nights back, and after, for days, I was singing this song in my head, and other places as well.

It's not the subject matter. I want nothing to do with religion.

You see, I lie. I know exactly what I love about it. It's impromptu, but obviously they have played it many times before. They're also very visibly wasted, but nobody drops the ball.

I love how they let Rick lead the turnaround. I love Rick's foot stomping during the turnaround.

I love Rick's fiddle playing. If you don't put it under your chin, your playing fiddle.

.....and they're Canadians......

SUCK ON THIS MATHDUDE






"Dear Jackson,

Thank you for your interest in the test at IQTest.com.

Your general IQ score is: 141"

Who's the genius now buddy?

PACMAN GOES TO DALLAS

I can't think of a better place to dispose of garbage.

THE POST WAR DREAM - UPDATED FOR 2008

Tell me true, tell me why, was Jesus crucified
Is it for this that Daddy died?
Was it you? Was it me?
Did I watch too much T.V.?
Is that a hint of accusation in your eyes?
If it wasn't for the nips
Being so good at building ships
The yards would still be open on the clyde.
And it can't be much fun for them
Beneath the rising sun
With all their kids committing suicide.
What have we done, Maggie what have we done?
What have we done to England?
Should we shout, should we scream
"What happened to the post war dream?"
Oh Maggie, Maggie what did we do?

YOU DON'T SAY


In keeping with the Bush administration's overall policy of 'Just tell me what I want to hear', a recent study shows that a large number of EPA scientists have reported "incidents of political interference in their work", according to CNN.

"889 scientists, reported personally experiencing what they viewed as political interference in their work over the last five years. Four in 10 scientists who have worked at the agency for more than a decade said they believe such interference has been more prevalent in the last five years than the previous five years."

Hmmmm, I wonder why? (Note; the use of sarcasm is meant a comedic device, in actuality I am quite convinced as to why.)

Lies and corruption. I would personally like to thank everyone who voted for this gang of criminals. (See note about sarcasm above)

MY AUDIENCE

THE TONY ALVA YOU MAY NOT KNOW







Many of you know that Tony is an audio engineer and record producer, what you may not know is that after producing Bonnie Tyler's 1983 hit 'Total Eclipse of the Heart', he decided that only he had the vision to direct the video. Upon delivery of the video, the record company quietly asked Tony to never, ever do that again.

So it wasn't until ten years alter that Tony would direct another video. After that he had to sign a legal document preventing him from directing further music videos.

SILVER LININGS

Gas prices are rising driving food prices with it.

People are fucked all over by the mortgage fiasco.

The US owes China trillions of dollars.

American soldiers die each day for a lie.

Iran will have the bomb soon.

Hillary and Obama are going to beat each other into a McCain presidency.

How can one stay positive?

Tehuitzingo Deli Grocery

and

Tulcingo del Valle Restaurant










My thanks to Soundbites for the tip-off.

"PLEASE USE ALL AVAILABLE DOORS"

All of them? That's a lot of doors, and they don't give you much time. Damn, NYC is tough.

VINCIT QUI SE VINCIT (He conquers, who conquers himself)

That's our family motto. Coincidentally, I think that's what my Dad has been trying to tell me for forty-two years.

Here's our family crest:



Fairly bad ass.

COOL BLOG

Doing some necessary taco research led me to this blog. I've added it to my sidebar after I deemed it 'way cool'.

Enjoy.

YES VIRGINIA, THERE ARE TACOS IN MIDTOWN

El Centro

Jackson says: "Can't talk, .....eating....."

AN OPEN LETTER TO TONY

The following is an e-mail I sent to Tony Alva, part of a discussion we're having about gas prices, hybrid cars, and drilling for oil in Alaska.

I am not Al Gore, I have no PowerPoint presentation - yet, but what I do have is logic, reason, and historical perspective.

Lastly, Tony is not a 'bad guy'. He's a working dad with the same concerns we all have, sure he may have voted for George Bush - twice! - but it is not my suggestion that he is on the wrong side of any equation. I simply wished to share my astoundingly succinct observations with all of you.

"It's a worldwide thing. The 4 bucks a gallon we're paying is still much better than most industrialized countries. In Ireland, for an example, gas is up over 9 dollars per gallon. This drives up food prices, as we're already seeing. At this rate you're gonna pay 10 bucks a pound for hamburger within 5 years. People get angry when they are hungry. Historically speaking, we're going to see violence in the streets very soon if the problem isn't addressed.

And it can be addressed. The technology is available, it's just severely underfunded - again worldwide - because the oil companies spend more on maintaining the status quo than they do on R&D for alternative energy. Sure they pay lip service, they say they are investing, but they are so entrenched in oil that they refuse to disappoint their shareholders by doing what is right by society in general. They need to be taken out of the equation (along with the Insurance companies) before we'll get any relief, at the pump, at the grocery store, you name it, you're gonna feel the hit in your wallet.

The times they are a changin'.

You say the 'floating alloy air car' of Red Barchetta is a long way off, and strictly speaking that may be, but I guarantee you that in ten years time you will not be driving an oil based automobile to work and back. Oil is a limited resource. The lakes of oil underground, underwater, wherever, will eventually dry up. Renewable energy is the future, and America should lead the world down that road. Certainly if we do, we'll be back on top in the eyes of the world, and our own."

My name is Jackson, and I approved this message.

UPDATE

Tony's reply:

"I take my queue from your brother and others on his blog on this issue. An awful lot of smart people have riffed on the subject there...

The new energy solution will NOT come from oil companies, that's a fallacy. Oil companies may BUY that technology once it becomes adoptable, but they will not R&D it. Entrepreneurs will. The truth is that there is plenty of oil to be had out their and the discovery of the Brazilian reserves is proof, but we both agree that for autos and domestic/commercial use energy needs its not where we need to be going. Here's the challenge:

1. Despite the potential of more abundant reserves yet to be discovered on our planet, Oil is NOT easy to extract from the ground.

2. Oil is NOT easily converted to gasoline and it takes shitloads of cash to refine it. So much so that even when oil is cheap and abundant, there can still be shortages due to refinery capacity. These shortages keep prices inflated.

3. Oil is NOT eco friendly and whether or not the science validates it or not, the world will be going greener.

4. Oil/gas is NOT easy to distribute. Distribution burden's the cost of a gallon of gas immensely, in some cases and depending how far down the pipeline you live up to 45% of the cost.

5. The new energy MUST be NET eco positive

From all I've read on the subject I maintain that, while advances have been made, we're a long way off even if all that oil money was backing the R&D. Without even addressing the MASSIVE tech refresh that would have to be done to incorporate the use of this new fuel/energy, all of the above noted major issues would have to be successfully addressed one way of another. You only have to think about how much the WORLD's machinery depends on oil to make shit work.

By no means am I nay saying the need or the efforts under way. I'm a big fan, but sorry man, it's going to be a long time coming. What should we the people of the world be focused on right now? The free world should be divorcing itself form ME dependence and leave the wacko's and the totalitarian regimes to their own demise (since they haven't invested/shared the wealth with their own people and have failed to build thriving economies beyond the single resource that is oil, their countries will become ghost towns in a sandbox). We do this by taking short term measures that include domestic drilling in the interim, NOT to go back to everybody driving gas guzzling SUV's again, those days are gone forever (thankfully), but to ease world tension. Conserve, develop, innovate, put ours and the free world's destiny in our own hands. I think you'd agree that ratcheting back our ME meddling would not only be good from a doomsday clock perspective, but also allow us some breathing room for the enormity of the transition to the new energy source.

I kid about mourning the loss of my flat six boxer engine driven ride to work, and have always contended that whether or not there's scientific truth to the global warming issue, the migration off of fossil fuel is of primary importance for the good of the planet anyway and is well worth our best efforts.

I just gotta have a way to get to work in the meantime... " - T. Alva

I thought that's what I said........

JACKSON'S BEST OF SABBATH






Tony has been blogging Black Sabbath of late, and it has put me in the frame of mind to go a list making.

1) Sabbath Bloody Sabbath - Sabbath Bloody Sabbath (73)
2) Wheels of Confusion - Vol. 4 (72)
3) Hole in the Sky - Sabotage (75)
4) Symptom of the Universe - Sabotage (75)
5) Tomorrow's Dream - Vol. 4 (72)
6) Supernaut - Vol. 4 (72)
7) The Thrill of It All - Sabotage (75)
8) National Acrobat - Sabbath Bloody Sabbath (73)
9) The Writ - Sabotage (75)
10) Junior's Eyes - Never Say Die (78)

It's not that I don't like the first three records, I just like the second three better.

ALLMAN'S BILL COMES DUE

For years the best Allman Brothers cover band, The Allman Brother's Band, has played a week of shows at the Beacon Theater in March. Throngs of aging hippies, bikers, and loose women have descended upon the upper west side each March to get blind drunk and witness these over rated geezers play all the old great songs for twenty minutes at a stretch, performing for three hours a night.




It has become a tradition.

It seems, however, that it may have come to an end.

First the Allmans (the Allman) postponed the gigs until the fall, and now they have cancelled them due to Greg's battle with Hep C.

Hepatitis C seems to be the enduring legacy of Rock excess. While many Rock legends have died from overdoses, many more who thought they had avoided penalty for their habits have found they only postponed final payment.

I certainly don't wish illness upon anyone, but you do get what you pay for. Maybe if Greg hadn't been such a dick all his life I'd have more sympathy.

He should have eaten more peaches and shot less smack.

FOUR FLICKS

I can't wait to see 'Shine a Light'. My schedule of late has prevented me from doing so, although it's playing at the Imax at Lincoln Center which is not too far from the day job. The problem is the day job has also been a night job lately.

To gear up, however, I've been watching the 2002 tour 4 DVD box set 'Four Flicks'.

The Stones product output since the early eighties has been highly suspect. Certainly since 'Steel Wheels' it's been: studio record, live record, studio record, live record, ect....

Obviously a way to sell more product without having to write more product.

When they decided to tour behind an anthology, and then have the audacity, the ostentatiousness of releasing a 4 DVD set of the tour, well, I mean, what else could you think?

The problem is, as has been the case with the Stones more often than not, 'Four Flicks' is a great product.

The package gains credibility when you understand the concept. On the tour they played three types of venues: stadiums, arenas, and theaters, so they shot one of each, threw in a bonus documentary disc, and released them as a set.

Of course it's well shot, sounds great, and has plenty of bonus features, but what's great about it is the dearth of material covered over the course of the box set.

More than one band member comments about the impossibility of being 100% on all the tunes they decided to have on hand for the tour, and indeed there are fuck-ups. Nothing serious, no derailments or blatant bloopers, well, at least not obvious to someone less well versed in the material than Jackson. During the Madison Square Garden show, for example, Mick mutters through a verse of 'If You Can't Rock Me' (Ted Nugent's favorite song,.... really) half mumbling, half repeating the prior verse.

Many would say 'so what'. It goes beyond 'so what'. It's great. It's real. You know Mick knows he fucked up, but he let it go because other than that it was a great roaring version of a lost track that they have seldom performed. I get the feeling that Mick is finally getting comfy with himself.

.....about time.

There is definitely a playfulness on stage that I'm not sure was ever there before. Keith and Charlie, very briefly, fall out of sync early on in 'Monkey Man'. Again, you're so blown away that they are actually playing another live rarity that you'd never notice if not for Keith looking straight at the camera with a 'Hey, whaddya want' look on his face. A face that is much more expressive and joyful in these modern times.





Even Charlie shows some signs of enjoyment. During 'Midnight Rambler' he displays what can only be described as a grin. I kid you not. 'Midnight Rambler' is exactly the kind of track that has kept the Stones interested in playing with each other. You can't play that tune to a click. That one is about human interaction.

Beneath all the excess; human interaction is what the Stones are about.

Ronnie is just a joy to behold. He's playing as well as he ever has. I'm working up a separate post for this under appreciated Stone.

It is strange to see the bass player moving about on stage, but I have noticed that Daryl Jones talks about as much as Bill did, which is to say very little.

'Four Flicks' is a good buy, a value if you will, and in my opinion a necessity for any self respecting Rolling Stones fan.

JETS 08 SCHEDULE






Looking at the Jets schedule for the can't come too soon upcoming season, all I can say is; what a bunch of pussies. We're going 16-0, without a doubt. After the crushing blow the asshat Pats took at the end of last season, I'm confident that they are no competition this year. It'll be years before they make any noise again.

Tuna and his Fish may be a team to recon with next year, but I don't think we'll have much problem handling them this season.

The rest are cake-walks.

By the time we see Obama inaugurated, we'll be looking at a Jets/Giants Super Bowl, and I'll be as pleased as punch.

FAR TOO LITTLE, WAY TOO LATE

CHINA - "WE'RE NUMBER 1!"

And today they took the top spot in executions.

You go, you emerging superpower you!

THE NUMBER 8

As a child, my favorite number was 8. I think my favorite color was blue, but today I hold no values over any other, whether it be numerical or light based.

At no point in my life was ever pleased about receiving chain letters, chain e-mails, or any of that type of nonsense. I prefer other nonsense.

Mathdude tagged me for crazy 8's, and will oblige, but only because mine will be better.

8 things I am passionate about:

My life with the Legal Diva
Listening to the solo section of 'Rock Bottom' very loud.
Guitars
Guitar amps
Cooking
Reading history
Travel
Recording Guitars plugged into guitar amps

8 things I want to do before I die:

Make my vows to the Legal Diva
Own a home
Visit Patrick Henry Village (Heidelberg)
Walk around inside 68b Schofield Place
Own a mid-seventies Marshall Plexi 50 watt
Write something worth reading that is longer than twelve pages.
Hang out with Ace Frehley
Grow my own

8 books I have read recently:

The Story of Britain -
The Wars of the Roses - Allison Weir
The Last Plantagenet -
Tarzan and the Jewels of Opar - Edgar Rice Burroughs
The Return of Tarzan - Edgar Rice Burroughs
Tarzan and the Ant Men - Edgar Rice Burroughs
A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
The Hotel New Hampshire - John Irving

EDDIE @ RADIO CITY











The Legal Diva and I are proud owners of tickets to see the amazing Eddie Izzard at Radio City in late June. Eddie has played NYC quite often, in fact his residency at the Westbeth Arts Center in the West Village put him on the map in America, and was the impetus for the HBO special 'Dressed To Kill' which put his transvestite (executive, not weirdo) comedy act into homes across America.



I always managed to miss him.



Needless to say we're very excited.



I can only hope there will be jam.

KEEP THE KIDS OFF DOPE

Prescribing anti-depressants can certainly improve, and even save the lives of those afflicted with clinical depression, but for God's sake, let's keep the children off the meds. In my experience, the use of anti-depressants by children does not help them, it only increases feelings of alienation and causes a lack of interest in academics, sports, and social events.


At any rate, I think 30 years for a minor with extenuating circumstances like these is a bit over the top, but we all know that prison is business and in America that business is doing better than any other.

GUITAR OF THE WEEK

Hue has laid of his GOTW posts, so I figured I'd fill in until he resumes posting.





This week's beauty is the 1960 Gibson Special Double Cutaway. I was watching 'Four Flicks', the Rolling Stones DVD collection of their 2002 tour and Keith had one of these babies, tuned to 'G' of course.

I gives splendid warm tones which can be heard here.

I think this is my all time favorite guitar.

I know Tony is crying to the heavens, "he hath forsaken the Almighty Telecaster!"

Well, no, not really. The two are so similar, about as similar as a Gibson and a Fender can get. Nice hunks o' wood, not too many knobs, single coil pick-ups......

I think what I love about it is it's simple beauty. She's gorgeous, ain't she?

FINALLY SOMEONE TAKING PARENTING SERIOUSLY

I think that the kid should join the East Stains Massive, but really, it should be a family decision.

MR. BEAR RESPONDS




In response to the Pope's recent comments, the Bear said today that in fact, yes, he does shit in the woods. He added that he is open to other options if anybody has a better idea.

AS I THOUGHT: GIADA FROM MARS

NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter has captured new imagery, in color and in 3-D, of a target that may be almost as much of a scientific hot spot as the Red Planet itself:



Giada DeLaurentis.

Scientists concur, given the fact that her head is three times the size of her body, that she must be an alien. Twice the size of Phobos, the larger of Mars' two tiny moons, Giada's head has enormous gravitational aspects.

Plans to explore Giada's head are being discussed by NASA, but the going is slow. Many top astrophysicists are simply distracted by her boobies.

"There's no getting around it", Alfred McEwen, principal investigator for the HiRISE camera at the University of Arizona's Lunar and Planetary Laboratory, said in a recent interview, "she really does have quite a pair, it's just too bad her head is so out of proportion, and frankly, I don't much care for her entitled attitude."

Me neither Alfie.

NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALL PROGRESS



Now if only we can get them here in New York.

GOTTA FIX THIS

This actually explains a lot, sadly. I bet the vast majority of those who claim the Bible as their favorite book have not actually read the damn thing. Jackson has. Jackson wasn't all that impressed. I suggest a decent editor.

DONE WITH WORD VERIFICATION

I've disarmed the word verification. I feel it's prohibitive. If I get spam, I'll make 'em wish they hadn't.

NHL

It's Stanley Cup time, and Tony's Thrashers, Chrispy's Hurricanes, and My Canucks are all a bust, only Hue's Wild made the cut.

Guess I'm a Wild fan for the next month or so.









Go Wild.

MORE WASTE

Is there any accountability in our government? Seems not. None at all.

You know what I'm going to say, don't you?





OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

POPE SPEAKS!

The Pope said today that during his upcoming US visit he will address the sexual abuse issues that have long been ignored by his holy office. He also said that, indeed he is catholic, and yes, he does wear a funny hat.

DO WE REALLY WANT TO BENCH THIS GUY





"Pennington, with a career 65.6 percent passing accuracy, is the most accurate QB in NFL history."

And that is after the disaster that was last season wherein the Jets fielded a team without an offensive line.

Chad is the man. He's taken the Jets to the post season several times, and he's a good guy to boot.

Sure I want the jersey Tony got me to stay relevant, but it goes deeper, I want the team to win, and I'm not sure Clemens is the man. Maybe he's the 3rd and really, really long man, but my advice to Mangini is put Chad back in as the starter at the top of the season before resorting to Clemens.

Jackson is always right when it comes to the Jets.

SWEATIN' TO THE OLDIES





In anticipation of the impending Maiden show - thanks Misanthrope - I spent some time perusing the Iron Maiden selections at YouTube. I know they'll play this one.

That alone will be worth it.

While we're at it, it looks like this guy will be touring this summer with the same line up that he made his 1980 self titled solo debut LP with. The fun really begins about 3:20 into the tune. Any takers?





While we're at it, his old band UFO are touring, and they'll be at B.B. Kings and The Chance next week, alas without Pete Way, as Pete can't get no (sing along) working visa. I'd be glad to attend if there's interest.

I DON'T GET IT

What does 'significant but uneven' mean? C'mon guys, enough with the bullshit. Can't you just lie to us like you did with the whole 'Mission Accomplished' farce? Can't we just say, "hey we won!", and leave it at that?

No, you can't, because you just signed Blackwater to a new fat 2 year extension on their contract.

That is what this war is about. You were right, hawkies, when you said it wasn't about oil, but you lied when you said it was about terrorism. It's about contracts. It's about Blackwater, Haliburton and Lockheed Martin.




Fat cats.

Off with their heads!

BLOW MY FUSE

Not my favorite song, but the video captures the energy of one of the greatest live acts ever.

They have reformed without AWOL bassist Donnie Purnell and can be caught in the act hitting the boards once again.

ABOVE THE LAW

CNN - "Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki blasted the U.S. State Department for renewing its contract with the Blackwater security firm, saying the company has yet to answer for what he called a "massacre" last year."

He wants answers. So would we all.

Our country increasingly resembles fifteenth century England, and that is not a good thing, not at all.

All hail the new feudalism.

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE HELP?

This is all well and good. I'm glad that the CDC is making the study of Autism a priority. Certainly finding the cause is a good start in the direction of preventing it, BUT, can we please address the major problem affecting the parents with autistic children, the overwhelming cost of effective treatment. 40 hours per week of therapy is what is needed, and the cost is usually more than one parent can earn in that year. The Wicked Insurance Complex that owns our country will never cede to granting financial aid to the parents of autistic children without great pressure from us, and our (laugh) government.

The government can and will do very little, because the elected are beholden to the Wicked Insurance Complex.

Only after revolution can we expect to regain control of our government.







Off with their heads!

Throw off the corporate yoke!

Death to the fat cats!

Autism Awareness, it's not what you think.

HESTON DIES, LEAVES LEGACY

I hope he suffered greatly in his last days. There's no way possible that he could have suffered as much as the countless thousands of parents who have lost children due to the negligent policies of the NRA. Heston, as all members of that criminal group, will certainly rot in hell. Now if only the rest of those heartless bastards could die in discomfort as well.

MUDCRUTCH

Tom Petty just released an album he recently made with his old band Mudcrutch. Not surprisingly it sounds like The Heartbreakers. As if that could in anyway be a bad thing. Considering Benmont and Mike were/are in Mudcrutch it is also no surprise that the record sounds like the The Heartbreakers. I've heard the single 'Scare Easy' on the radio. Again, not surprisingly it's fantastic.

They are touring.

Tom just can't keep still.

DOUBLE STANDARD

What's the difference between this and this? The Nun will pay for her actions, the CEO got paid for his.

DALAI LAMA: CHINA A 'BUNCH OF PUSSIES'

CNN reports the Dalai Lama came out swinging today with a public attack on Chinese Tibetan policy. "Come and get some", said the Lama. When Chinese officials failed to respond to the holy one he was heard to say: "That's what I thought, what a bunch of pussies."



This more aggressive side of the Lama is rarely seen, but many Tibetan supporters are pleased by the switch in tactic.

"Just because we're monks doesn't mean we fuck around, the gloves are off baby, and I'm gonna get me some take out if you know what I mean."

Yes, I think I do Mr. Lama. Go on with your bad self!

MIDTOWN

I hate midtown. Unfortunately George Bush has forced me to accept work in midtown. The only consolation is that I'm working in the same building as Rupert Jee's Hello Deli. Yesterday I had the 'Biff': hot roast beef, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, sweet peppers, and mayo. Muy delicioso. Rupert is a great guy, and a Jets fan. We're very hopeful about the new season just 5 months away! Considering the money the Jets have spent on a new offensive line I'd say that we should see Chad back in the pocket again. Rupert agrees.



Haven't seen Biff, Dave, or Paul yet, but it seems inevitable being next door to the Ed Sullivan Theater. I wonder if Biff will remember me. I doubt it since I've lost the mountain man look I had going on then.

At any rate I have two months of midtown ahead of me. Hopefully by then I'll find a gig back in the civilized world of lower Manhattan.

Fuckin' tourists......