THE AFTERNOON AFTER THE MORNING AFTER TEDSTOCK

Chris played in 3 bands not two.

Microdot's 'Left Of The Dial' was the best song played at TEDSTOCK.

The Horse brought the complete show, the Blowin' Chunks horn section - the twelve minute intro to 'Monkey Love'. I have been telling people for years that they were the best band ever, now at least some people know what I'm talking about.

All the bands were great. My apologies to Just One and Silk Sheets - we got to work out the segue from live rock sound to hip hop for the next STOCK, but just the same, Just One threw down the flow like nobody's business- except his own of course.

John Law of The X's gets the True Grit award for playing with a broken leg. Chris from the X's is fast becoming my favorite guitar player. Everytime I see them they are better than the last - and the first time I saw them I was blown away.

Thanks to Figo and Geek Farm for taking the shitty time slots. We only hurt the ones we love.

Thanks to Rich and Cheryl from NYFAC for coming down. We didn't sell a whole lot of shirts (yet - I'm working on a new package - shirt/cd deal), but the door brought in a good chunk of change, and I saw at least one check get cut directly to NYFAC - NICE! ( I know who you are )

Thanks to James Vitray and Crazy Dave for helping schlep.

Lastly, thanks to all who traveled from afar; Mr. and Mrs. Alva (Big Time helpers as well), and My Mom and Dad.

Mostly, though I have to thank my two brothers and their lovely wives who supported TEDSTOCK not only with their financial contributions, but for getting the ball rolling way back in July.

I promise I won't turn 40 again....at least not very soon. I only wish I had had more time to spend with all the people who came. It was a bit overwhelming. Maybe Michele Berke had the right idea of having 40 parties, each on a small scale with a select group of friends. Problem is, as those who know me would attest - I don't do small.

Oh yeah! I want to thank those who helped get the gear back to the studio at 4 in the morning - I don't really remember much of that time, but I can see that it did happen. Whew!

As much pain as I am in, as much of a hassle organizing, loading in, and loading out was, I'm planning on doing more of these......Who's birthday is next? Chris and Paul both have birthdays in the coming months.

TEDSTOCK WRAP I

It's 4:18.

It's just me and my Baby.....And some Cameras Eye.

I Couldn't have had a better time.

MVP: Paul Daly. He rocked two sets. Worked the door for four hours, and provide the bass rig beyond the call of duty.

I have the best moments of my live rock moment with him and Chris

One would think that I'd give this award to Chris, who also played in two bands, took care of the recording, and put up with my obsession about it all. But he doesn't care......

Actually he cares a great deal, and TEDSTOCK would never have happened without him. So Chris gets the MP3 award.

I got alot more to say, but I had to lay this down at 4:27.


You understand.

WHAT NEXT?

As you may imagine, as we inch closer to TEDSTOCK, my mind is racing. Things we should have done: TEDSTOCK Backstage laminants, make the dove a chicken, Suzy Is A Headbanger....

Trash Bar sells earplugs!

I finally got in touch with some of my SUNY pals, they're a bunch of recovering theater geeks, but they know how to drink.

I forgot to meet Kenny to get the Lizzy. Downloading as we speak.

I also forgot the Rose Tatoo, I'll have to use the CD I bought.

Aireoke is fun and good excercise.

OH HELLS YEAH II

I went to Nyack and rummaged through me Vinyl. Here's what I brought back:

Lou Reed - Rock and Roll Animal
Rush - Moving Pictures
The Replacements - Tim
Black Sabbath - Vol. 4
Ian Hunter - Welcome to the Club
Kiss - Hotter Than Hell
AC/DC - Powerage
Rolling Stones - Exile On Main Street
Judas Priest - Hell Bent For Leather
Motorhead - No Sleep 'til Hammersmith
Ramones - Rocket To Russia
Def Leppard - High 'n' Dry
David Bowie - The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars
UFO - Strangers in the Night
T. Rex - The Slider

I totally spaced on the Lizzy, but Ken is going to bring his early Lizzy compilation from '74, it's got some of the Vagabonds of the Western World record, and some stuff they did with Gary Moore. It's got Little Girl In Bloom, The Rocker, and Whiskey in the Jar, so it'll do.

Chris will provide the Floyd, his Animals is in better shape than mine, as well as the Snoop, Rust Never Sleeps, and a record I like to call "Lift Slowly and Peel".

Paul will bring his Boutique.

Kory (DJ Kory) Smith will be spinning selections from said records.

"I think I've got the rock and rolls again." - J. Perry

OH HELLS YEAH

Trash Bar has a turntable, actually two. You can forget about hearing YOUR favorite record at TEDSTOCK. (Insert evil laugh here)

Initial contenders:

Ziggy
Ramones
Rose Tattoo
Animals
UFO (Strangers)
Powerage (AC/DC)
Jailbreak (Lizzy)
Paul's Boutique
Exile
Ace of Spades (Motorhead)
High n' Dry (Leppard)
Sabatoge (Sabbath)
Doggy Style
Hell Bent For Leather (Priest)


heee hee hee hee

PREPARATION/INSPIRATION

After last nights rehearsal with Chris and Rob Machold I felt the Noodle was in a good spot. I've been busy working my day job and promoting TEDSTOCK to the point where I began to feel I hadn't put enough time into The Band. Chris and Rob quelled my fears, and considering the Big Saturday Rehearsal with Paul at my favorite minute - the last one, I actually feel good about #12 Rock and Roll Noodle.

So I went and got the Mowhawk.

Last night Chris said I'd never keep it a secret, and that I'd blog it the second I did it. Chris was right.

After, I stopped at Virgin and got the first three Rose Tattoo records on CD. Long overdue. I should have given out their self-titled debut to the guys in the Noodle instead of the SETLIST CD that I made. It would have done as good of a job. This is exactly what I would want MY band to sound like. I've never had my own band, and I'm on record stating that I'd rather not. I've found the collaborative approach extremely rewarding. I've always seen it as my job to bring the Rose Tattoo to whatever band Chris, Paul and I have had together.

NICE BOYS:

"She hit town a rose in bloom
Smell the sweet, sweet perfume
The color faded and the petals died
Down in the city no one cried

And in the streets the garbage lies
Protected by a million flies
With roaches so big they got bones
They moved in and made themselves at home

I say nice boys...don't play rock'n'roll
Nice boys...don't play rock'n'roll
I'm not a nice boy!

Sweet sixteen she was fresh and clean
Wanted so bad to be part of the scene
She met the man and she did the smack
And now, she pays the price layin' down on her back

Want so bad just to please the boys
Ended up bein' just a toy
Played so hard burned her life away
Lies were told no promises made

Nice boys...don't play rock'n'roll
Nice boys...don't play rock'n'roll
I'm not a nice boy...and I never was

Young and fresh when she hit town
Hot for kicks just to get around
And now she lays in a filthy room
She kills the pain with a flick and a spoon

And in the streets the garbage lies
protected by a million flies
With roaches so big they got bones
They moved in and made themselves at home

Nice boys...don't play rock'n'roll
Nice boys...don't play rock'n'roll
Nice boys...don't play rock'n'roll
Nice boys...don't play rock'n'roll
Nice boys...don't play rock'n'roll
Nice boys...don't play rock'n'roll
Nice boys...don't play rock'n'roll
Nice boys...they never play rock'n'roll"

So, yeah, Let's Rock!

SETLIST

I know the big question on everybody's mind is: what will Ted play at TEDSTOCK. When disaster befell Happy Boy in the form of Kory breaking his collar bone, Chris Paul and I regrouped, called Machold, and reworked the set list. Out of the embers of Happy Boy is born #12 Rock and Roll Noodle. The Noodle set is as follows:

Pissin' On The Roses (Wilson)

This song was born in Austin, TX. I was visiting Chan. We were hanging out at Bill's in the garden. After a couple a soda pops, I needed to do the necessary. Bill indicated the rose bushes, and the rest is history. When I got back to NYC, and began flushing the song out with verses, I decided to place the song in a setting that would allow me to make the point; i.e. why is it so hard to piss on the roses - and indeed it was. The setting became the gig, the road, the real rock and roll lifestyle. Not the glamorous Bon Jovi video, but the hard bits, the suck of it all. Indeed, it ain't easy pissin' on the roses.

Plastic Girl (Pace)

Another road song, in the sense that it draws from experiences Chris had on the road in L.A. Chris can tell you more about the woman in the two room suite at the Bel Age, but I can tell you that we both seem to be rather taken with Los Angeles. For me, it's a holy land of sorts, hallowed ground where greatness took place - alongside depravity on a grand scale. What's cooler than that?

Pop Tart (Wilson)

This song is simply some word play on top of a riff I had around forever. It became about recovery from heroin addiction well after I wrote it. This is common for me. I don't always attach meaning to anything at the time of creation. There is, however, meaning everywhere, and it'll find it's way if you give it time. A crowd pleaser from the latter Happy Boy era, I believe we played it in Mister Littlejeans live sets as well.

Thumbnail Moon (Wilson)

Some songs not only won't die, they get more distinguished with age. I wrote this song back in '89 while driving to Nyack from Stamford, a commute I was soon to bag. I wrote the lyric and melody behind the wheel, and when I got to Tony Alva's apartment in Nyack, I picked up the Gagliano and basically plopped my lyrics down on the chord structure from Donovan's 'Atlantis'. Not long after, I had a one off gig at Knucklehead's (now Olive's) opening for the Drag Triplets on New Year's Eve. I was fortunate enough to have Joel Finn from The Horse You Rode In On in my band (Better Off Ted), and he gave me the 'F' part, which took my little folkie tune and turned it into a legit country number. As Chris and I grew musically, this song seemed to grow with us. The title is a Stephen King reference.

Santiago (Pace)

Happy Boy used to have a page at mp3 dot com. When Happy Boy broke up it became our Mr. Littlejeans site. Then it went away. A victim of corporate cannibalism. Before all that, however, we got 121 hits in one day from Chile. We printed out the stats and put it on the wall with the declaration 'Huge in Chile' written in Sharpie across the page. We were so proud and happy we wrote a love song for them.

Questioningly (Ramones)

Is that even a word? Joey Ramone could get away with stuff like that. This is my all time favorite Ramones song. It has been truly a dream come true to be able to play it live. I can't remember if Happy Boy ever played it out. I do remember Happy Boy breaking up while recording it. We did play it in Mr. Littlejeans. Damn, I forgot to invite Arturo Vega and Mark (Marky Ramone) Bell. I bet Arturo would have come.

Pills (Pace)

I can't really speak to the origins of this song. I do know that Chris' original title was 'Medication', but there was already a Spiritualized song by that name, a great Spiritualized song. We played it in Mr. Littlejeans, and then George found it and hi-jacked it for Brain Shivers. For me, it's simply a fun song to play.

Princess Leia (Princess of Alderaan) (Pace/Wilson)

Born during an improv one drunken Happy Boy rehearsal, Leia has never got it's due. As a band we could never re-create the magic. Since the planning of TEDSTOCK began, Chris added a new verse, and the advent of Macholdian structure has brought it to a new level.
Suge's been shot!

There She Goes Again (Reed)

The other cover. If one does the Ramones, it follows that one should do the Velvets. This is NYC after all. Chris is the bigger Velvet head, and he has made me appreciate the latter output of the Velvets, whereas I had always just stuck to the first album, which is the home of this tune, and again - it's just a damn fun song to play. That was my basic criteria for the setlist after all. I don't think I've played a gig with Chris where we didn't do this song.

Peace Chicken (Wilson)

What? I don't think there's any question. If I have an anthem, a theme song, it'd have to be Peace Chicken. A year or two older than Thumbnail Moon, it's my 'Satisfaction' I guess. More like an old t-shirt you refuse to throw away. David Rosenberg added the Bigg Riff, and Paul the hoo hoo's. It's certainly a much different tune than the one I brought to Tony Alva and Brian Spears back at Coal Mine Sound in late 87. For a long time I would introduce the song live by saying -"a good friend of mine told me this song sucked, we're gonna play it for you now'. I always loved that. If Tony hadn't criticized the song, I wouldn't have gotten to use that line.

Well there's the setlist, and the background behind the tunes. See 'em Sunday at 10 PM.

THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT TEDSTOCK

The Jets have a bye, and the Giants play the early game. By the time The Four Fellas hit the satge at 4:30, football will be over for the day.

PODSTOCK

New Podcast up at smokeandmirrors.podblaze.com

It's called HORSESTOCK, and it features The Horse You Rode In On as well as The Noodle, and Microdot.

Enjoy.

POP TART

As The Noodle prepares for TEDSTOCK, I find there's one tune I am consistantly forgetting the words to. I figured I'd blog it. When I was a student (college - the best ten years of my life) I found that if I wrote something down it was like reading it twice, a good memeory device, I thing they call it studying.

I've had my darkest hour
I've had it all night and day
I've had my darkest hour
I've seen it every which way

How should I spend my money

So smart dearest flower
I want you all night and day
K-mart golden shower
I've seen it every which way

How should I spend my money

In you, you got the power
So smart, you get your way
In you, inside your tower
Pop Tart - let me hear you say.....

NFL MONDAY MORNING

As Hurricane Vilma descends upon Atlanta tonight, I will say only that it's not personal, and if Mike Vick survives tonight's game intact, well, then he deserves to have a good season. If he survives.

I didn't make a pick for the KC/Miami game, but we all know I'd NEVER pick Miami - unless they play the Pats. I won't count it as a win, but I will bask in the defeat of the Fish.

Detroit wakes up and beats Cleveland - ouch.

Minnesota wakes up, and beats Green bay - despite idiot coach Mike Tice. Sorry Hue. That makes two in the loss column for me.

St. Louis beats New Orleans. Double ouch.

Arizona over Tennessee! I lose, but who cares, it's huge!

Indy beat Houston, not so soundly, but a win for Jackson anyway.

Pittsburgh beats Cincinnati. Cinderella turns pumpkin as predicted.

Philly beats San Diego. There is only one LT, and he ain't a running back.

Washington soundly beat up tennis pro led 49ers.

Seattle over Dallas - yay.

Chicago over Baltimore.

Oakland over Buffalo.

Giants over Denver - a win is a win!

8 and 4 going into tonight's defensive suppression of the Falcons by the best defense in all of christiandom.

NFL TIME AGAIN

Cleveland beats Detroit.
Green Bay over Minnesota
Indy over Houston (ya think...)
New Orleans over St. Louis
Pittsburgh over Cinncinnati (big game)
Philly beats San Diego
Washington beats San Fran
Seattle over Dallas
Chicago beats Baltimore
Oakland over Buffalo
Giants over Denver
Tennessee over Arizona
Jets beat ATL (I know, wishful thinking...)

TEDSTOCK INJURY SWEEPSTAKES

The latest entry into the TEDSTOCK Injury Sweepstakes is John Law from the X's. It has come to our attention that John broke his leg a few days ago. John, however, is the real deal. The true punk rock ethic will be on display at TEDSTOCK as John takes the stage with X's at 11:00 pm, broke leg and all.

TEDSTOCK: LATE BREAKING NEWS (TED LIED)

I have posted that TEDSTOCK will be a free event, as in no cover. Well, sort of. If you have recieved an invite, it's still free, but the general public will be asked to pay a $5.00 cover. The money collected at the door will go to cover the staffing cost for Trash Bar ($200.00), and the rest will be donated to NYFAC. I'm sorry about the confusion, there was a miscommunication with Trash Bar, and they have indicated the cover charge in their printed advertisements.

REVENGE OF THE SITH: EPISODE PREDICTABLE

I finally broke down and watched this peice of crap. I figured if I got really high, at least I'd enjoy the visuals, but it just made me more intollerant of the horrible dialog. Whoever is writing this shit must have never been a fan. Yoda being the prime example of a great character ruined by bad writing. The only character who manages to keep some integrity is Chris' personal hero, and good freind to all mankind - yes, the astro-mechanical repair droid known as R2D2. There is a real stupid moment, however, where he grows a hand he never had in his future. Lucas lost it years ago. His head is in CGI, and he's forgotten about the human condition.

LOW SPARK

I heard this classic in the bar last night. IYAC - International Yacht and Atheletic Club - the closest thing to a dive bar I've been to here in Newport. Great tunes, we heard Elton's 'Madman Across the Water' and Ted Nugent's 'Cat Scratch Fever' as well as the ever present 'Deacon Blues' by Steely Dan (Tony and Chrispy - say what you will, the proof is in the pudding), but it was this great Traffic song that really took me to my happy place.

If you see something that looks like a star
And it's shooting up out of the ground
And your head is spinning from a loud guitar
And you just can't escape from the sound
Don't worry too much, it'll happen to you
We were children once, playing with toys
And the thing that you're hearing is only the sound of
The low spark of high-heeled boys

The percentage you're paying is too high priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
But today you just read that the man was shot dead
By a gun that didn't make any noise
But it wasn't the bullet that laid him to rest was
The low spark of high-heeled boys

If you had just a minute to breathe and they granted you one final wish
Would you ask for something like another chance?
Or something similar as this? Don't worry too much
It'll happen to you as sure as your sorrows are joys
And the thing that disturbs you is only the sound of
The low spark of high-heeled boys

If I gave you everything that I owned and asked for nothing in return
Would you do the same for me as I would for you?
Or take me for a ride, and strip me of everything including my pride
But spirit is something that no one destroys
And the sound that I'm hearing is only the sound
The low spark of high-heeled boys

NEWPORT RI

It's lovely here. Very quaint. I haven't found a bad pint of Guiness yet, and believe me, I've been looking. There's more to do here than drink, but I'm not much of a sailor, and I haven't got the money to buy a mansion. I spend my free time drinking and looking for the elusive people of color. Thin on the ground they are.

NFL YESTERDAY

8 and 5 again. I didn't pick the Monday night game yet. I'll go with Indy over St. Louis.

Bad week for New York. At least New England and Miami lost as well.

CALL HIM THE DEFICIT KING

This year's Federal Deficit looks like it will come in at 319 Billion Dollars, the third highest in US history. Last year's was the all time highest at 412 Billion, and 2003 - the second highest at 375 Billion. Next year we will feel the full financial impact of this years natural disasters - I can't wait. I mean he's got his hat trick, gotta go for the grand slam, right?

NFL TODAY

Quickly, I'm working, and the early games have already started.

Chicago over Minnesota
Giants over Dallas
KC over Washington
Denver over NE
Jets over Buffalo
Oakland over Chargers
Seattle over Houston
ATL over NO (it hurts me to say it...)
Carolina over Detroit
Cincinnati over Tennessee
Cleveland over Baltimore
Pittsburgh over Jacksonville
Tampa over Miami

CANUCKS

Well my Canucks beat Hue's Wild last night, but that's all I can tell you. There's some sort of problem with NHL.com, and they don't seem to have this season' stats up. I can't tell you how many games the Canucks have won or lost, but I guess that doesn't really matter. Hockey has so many games, and the season lasts for, like, a century, so at this point, I'm just glad they beat that stinkin' miserable team from Minnesota.

MISANTHROPE

[French, from Greek msanthrpos, hating mankind : mso-, miso- + anthrpos, man.]

That is the name of Dave Cavlier's blog. Dave is the guitar player in Microdot, as well as a frequent visitor to Smoke and Mirrors, and a TEDSTOCK participant. Apparently he also hates mankind - cool. I'm blogging Dave's blog because he's had it for a while, and somehow I missed out on that fact. I guess I don't read sidebars, because the link to his blog has been on the sidebar of Chris' blog for some time as well. I did click on Dave's name a few times as it appeared at the end of a comment, but it never brought me to his blog. Sometimes Blogger.com doesn't pass you through, at least on my Mac it's kind of buggie. Anyway, a belated welcome to Dave into the blog world. I am now going to read his blog for the very first time, I hope it's good.....

BAM

Famed Chef and TV personality Emeril Lagasse was seen by the Legal Diva (my Baby), on his Food Network program using flour tortillas while making fish tacos. I call for his culinary excommunication! Gastronomical disbarment! What he made were small, poorly wrapped, anemic burritos.
As you, my faithful reader well know, had Emeril used corn tortillas, he would have had himself some tasty tacos. I don't doubt he can fry fish. The guy is from Falls River, Massachusetts, meanwhile he claims this New Orleans cred-crap. You, Mr. Emeril 'my restaurant is overpriced and my sea bass is overgarnished' Lagasse, are a fraud!

LOVE TO HATE

http://www.godhatesfags.com/

This is the site that links to the comment on my James Bond post by the 'Gay is not Cool' guy. If it weren't so sick it'd be funny. Hate is not cool. Sodomy is much cooler than hate. I think God would rather me suck a few dicks than hate those who do. I'm going to wait for God to let me know before I act on this, because I'm more into tacos than dick right now. Just because I'm not personally into dick, doesn't mean it's not cool. Like, I don't get the whole Coldplay thing, but hey, if people like it, who am I to say it's not right.

BUSTED FEMA

"The city has allocated funds for the first 50 families, and as they get situated and settled, we'll continue to try to find the resources to help these families out. If we don't do that, we will create a new class of poor people, who prior to the hurricane had homes, had apartments, had jobs, had cars. FEMA is just completely off base." - Atlanta Mayor Shirley Franklin

On how much FEMA dough has come in:

"Oh -- zero. It's just like the mayor of Baton Rouge yesterday, a big doughnut."

What does FEMA do? Apparently not much.

WHY IS JAMES BLOND

Daniel Craig, blond and blue eyed, is the new James Bond. Whoever makes these decisions is no Bond fan. Is anything sacred? What's next? A blond Superman? The Story Of Miles Davis starring Kenny G? This is worse than Tom 'not gay' Cruise as the Vampire Lestat.

NFL WEEK FIVE RECAP

Jets win! Holy Crap! JETS JETS JETS!

Vinnie! I felt so.....normal watching you play Sunday. Welcome back. You are exactly as I remember you. I can handle this.

The Jets have the best defense in the league, so as long as Vinnie only throws one INT per game, and Ronde Barber hits a Ref every game, they'll be fine.

Detroit wins! (I still don't really care, but I take the win)
Da Browns! (Cleveland Rocks, of course)
Go Buffalo!
Seattle gets it done in St. Louis!
Indy beats tennis pro led 49'ers!
Carolina wins in AZ!

Thanks to the crappy Falcons, New England has a winning record. I smell a dive. Cheney paid Vick.
So I was right about Favre, but I don't get the win. This is how I get to be both right and wrong.
Dallas crushes Philly! Huge, I lose and I'm so happy! If Dallas neutralizes Philly - big year for Big Blue?
Washington does not win in Denver :(
Jacksonville beats Cincinnati.

As I type, Sand Diego has come from behind, and now lead 16 - 14. There's 10 minutes left. Oh shit, Hines Ward just caught a 30 yard pass - good game. Radio is good for some things.

I don't care who wins.

Pittsburgh Scores! 21-16! I forgot who I picked, oh yeah - The Steelers!

Oh Shit, Dan Diego's in the red zone! TD! Missed conversion! 22 - 21 Chargers!

Ben Roethlisberger is out! Hyper extended left knee?

10 seconds left, Steelers FG unit comes out. 40 yard attempt..........

Time outs on radio suck.....

The Kick is Good! 24 - 22 Steelers......6 seconds left......Shut Up Boomer! Fucking Esiason - I hate him.

Steelers!

I go 8 -5.

SMOKE AND MIRRORS PODCAST

I recasted my latest podcast. There was a podcast called 'SickStock' which contained a song I shouldn't have used. There's now a podcast called 'Tedstock' which includes two of the same songs, but I switched up on the Via Skyway and Just One tunes. You will also find all four sides of the Smoke and Mirrors version of The Wall by Pink Floyd. More to come.

TEDSTOCK
(J. Mitchell/T.Wilson/G.Vitray)

I came upon a Mike of Dot
He was walking along the road
And I asked him, where are you going
And this he told me
I’m going on down to Trash Bar yeah
Gonna join in two rock ’n’ roll bands
I’m gonna beat up on my Strat
I’m gonna get my soul free

We are road rats
We are gear heads
And we’ve got to get ourselves
Back to the Studio

Then can I use your Ampeg
I have come here to play the bass
And I feel to be alive, and my stomach's turning
Well maybe it is just the time of year
Or maybe it’s the time of TED
You all know who I am
And TEDSTOCK is for learning

About Autism
About Awarenesss
And we’ve got to get ourselves
Seriously hammered

By the time we got to TEDSTOCK
Somebody forgot the bong
But everywhere there was song and celebration
And I dreamed I saw Four Fellas
Rocking out into the sky
And they were turning into Gods of Rock
Before our nation

We are road rats
We are gear heads
And we’ve got to get ourselves
Back to the Studio

Ich bin, hoere mich brullen Deutsch.

That's right I'm German. What of it? Does that make me a monster? Am I more susceptible to evil?

On Fred's recent post about Terror and Iraq and Safety, I engaged in a blogument. I got into it with some hawks, I called Bush an Imp and everybody who voted for him an idiot. It must be true because they got real upset about it. Very touchy that lot, as if they know they made the HUGE BLUNDER, but can't admit it. Poor souls. Anyway, this led to that, as it does, and epiphets started coming out, and in one instance, a guy, Helmar, who's views I do not defend, was written off with the statement - he's German. Well he isn't. He's South African. Most likely, Helmar, like me, is a descendant of a German immigrant. My problem is that our German-ness is of no consequence. I'm tired of this underlying tag that goes with having German ancestry. I am proud to be German. Proud of Schnitzel and Gruben, Spaetzle and Sauerbraten. I am proud of the BEST beer in the world, the nicest cars, and one of the greatest bands to ever play rock and roll, yes, the Scorpions. I am proud of castles on lakes, alpine cloisters, and the autobahn.

One mass murdering fuck-head, and they won't leave us alone. Sheesh!

In closing; Don't Fear the Reeperbahn!

NFL WEEK 5

Baltimore at Detroit - who cares - I'll take Detroit at home. They are both 1 - 2. Again, who cares?

Chicago at Cleveland. Da Browns.

Miami at Buffalo. Buffalo wins this one. It's getting chilly upstate, and it'll probably rain, but mostly because of the aqua and orange that Miami sports.

New England gets whooped by ATL. New England continues decline as Jets fans weep because it can't help this year.

New Orleans at Green Bay. Now, I've picked Brett to dig down and find a win and he hasn't, so I'm gonna pick the Saints, my number three team, with the knowledge that this time, Brett will probably get it done.

Seattle gets it done in St. Louis.

Jets win! (They are playing Tampa at home, but what does it matter? I'll pick 'em to win anyway, and they'll lose anyway.) Who's QB? Fouts?

Tennessee at Houston. Does anybody care?

Indianapolis at San Fran. Indy. If it was the Wimbleton I'd pick SF.

Carolina wins in Az.

Philly wins in Dallas. They will be unstoppable this year, sorry Mr. Vick, not just yet.

Washington wins in Denver.

Cincinnati wins again in Jacksonville. They won't win the big show though.

I'm picking Pittsburgh on account of me liking them more than San Diego, but SD could well win this one.

POST SEASON:

AFC East - Sonny Jurgensen joins Jets and takes them to a conference title. (I just can't verbalize what will actually happen)

AFC North - Cincinnati takes conference. Pittsburgh advances somehow, and will lose early.

AFC South - Jacksonville makes a run, but Indy takes it. (How, exactly, is Indianapolis in the south?)

AFC West - San Diego without difficulty.

NFC East - Philly wins division, let alone this silly little conference. Giants eek into playoffs, look for big postseason showdown between these two in Philly (naturally).

NFC North - Nobody, NFL boots entire conference.

NFC South - Man, it's so hard to say. I can see any of these teams going post season. My heart is in N.O. so there I go.

NFC West - Seattle.

THE NEW ME

How do like the snazzy new look? It's all due to Mr. Hue. Muchas Gracias Senior Hue. In other news; I made a special new podcast, it's called 'sixteen'. Everybody will hate it. Have a nice day.

PODCAST

I know many of you have been anticipating a new podcast from me for weeks now, and I am sorry. I have good news. I upgraded my Podblaze account.

http://smokeandmirrors.podblaze.com

I have a new podcast, 'SickStock', as well as some high-lites from past podcasts.

TEDSTOCK THE MOVIE

Okay, here's the concept, but I need you to make it work. What I want is to have as many different people as possible shoot the show, and give me the footage. If you have camcorder, digi, vhs, whatever. Stills - YES - lots of stills. Bring your camera, I'll try and supply as many disposables as I can, but being socialists, we're not very wealthy. Also, I want varied quality and format. Think hodgepodge. It's gonna be great. Johnny Depp said he'd be in on it. I swear.

TEDSTOCK THE ALBUM

Yes, we will be recording TEDSTOCK. That is to say we will capture the event live to two track. Chris, George and I will pick the songs and offer, for sale, a two CD set. I think we'll probabaly end up selling them for ten bucks a pop.

Now the question of band specific CDs. Specific mention was made regarding The Horse. Well, on the one hand, I too would love a Horse CD, but I think that would be up to them. There are also bands, like The X's and The Lost Patrol who might not want this stuff circulating, for label/legal reasons. So that's a case by case situation. Certainly, Smoke and Mirrors is a business, and we are open for it seven days a week.

In the end, what am I saying? I'm saying that we'll do the comp CD. After that it's up to the artist.

NIGHT SKATING

I did some skateboarding last night. I busted out the old Santa Cruz and cut some fine asphalt. I was in Nyack, and walking back to Jimmy's to visit my stuff, which includes the old Santa Cruz, when I came upon a hill, a low grade quarter mile of clean near mint asphalt. The suburbs are good for some things. I absolutely could not resist.

I got to Jimmy's, put on some sneakers, dug out the board and walked right back up that hill, noting the inevitable swatch of gravel that collects at the bottom of all such hills. At the top I packed myself a bat hit, and took in the serene, post-midnite, suburban autumn setting. Very nice. I mounted the Santa Cruz, and immediately thought of all the reasons I should NOT be doing this.

Yes it was late, good because there would be no cars, but bad because I was alone and if it went bad, well I didn't want to dwell on that then, or now. The main reason to NOT be doing this is I'm freaking forty. I have not been on a skateboard with any regularity for twenty years, and indeed the last time I was on a skate, about four years ago, ended up very embarrassing for yours truly. I was at Chelsea Peirs skate park ostensibly to show my niece some tricks. What tricks? I tried to drop in on the SMALLEST pipe they had, it was four feet high. I got up there, dipped my nose - BAM - face plant! Ouch. Very much ouch. I realized then why I hadn't been on a skate since 1985 - the shit hurts!

I never could drop in any way, not at 15, not at 36, and most certainly not at 40. I developed into more of a street skater, and West Point, where I grew up, is a haven for street skating. That's why the pigs outlawed our kind. We tore that shit up! Well last night I wasn't near a pipe, pool, or ramp, thankfully. No, all I had here was a nice low grade, smooth ass ride. I cut in.

The key is large sweeping turns, facilitated by my super 'loose' front truck, culminating in a cut back up the slope followed by a 180 kick turn, and back down you go. Repeat. Well, it took a while before I could pull off the kick turn, but it came back, I had to bail a couple times.

Bailing is the most important maneuver one can learn on a skate, it literally can save your life. Executed poorly, bailing can be excruciatingly painful - road rash anyone? The secret is to get your feet moving as fast as your body is already moving when you jump ship. Executed properly it looks, feels, and sounds like you were wearing scuba flippers.

Anyway, I loosened up, and by the time I was halfway down the hill, the years between seemed to slip away. I even executed the 'Honk' (power slide) just in front of the gravel swatch. Dismount. Kick up skate. Promise myself to do more of this. With pads, supervision, daylight, and no beer. Well, that's not very likely is it now. Regardless, I promise to be careful.

I think I'll bring my skate to Brooklyn. I see a lot of the guys who work or live in the building gettin 'round on skates. It makes sense. Wait till they get a hold of the old man and his old school, 10 inch wide, single tail, non-concave (flat), deck with Indy 169s and, best of all, big soft urethane wheels. I can't dig the new skate wheel, well it's not that new. They are like little rocks, designed to be fast on wood (ramps), they are not a comfy ride. The Best Wheel Ever was the Kryptonic 70mm reds. They made love to the road. In comparison to today's wheels, the Kryps were like pillows. You felt the road in a sensual way, the feeling today is much more, say......Unsympathetic.

There was a brief time, in 1983 maybe, when I had the greatest skate ever. I had the 70 reds, on Indy 169's, mounted on the Powell Peralta Ray 'Bones' Rodriguez model. You can check it, it'll hold water. Call up Tony Hawk and say: 'Tony, I got a Bones model deck with Indys and 70 reds." He'll back me. Tony Alva, the 'real' Tony Alva would not, but he's sort of a cock. His skates were cool, he had style, but when Stacey got his shit together with the Bones Brigade - fah get about it! The 'fake' Tony Alva will attest to that.

That skate bought the farm back in spring 85, and that's when I got the Santa Cruz. I don't remember a lot of skating post 85, but the Santa Cruz has all the markings of a well worn street skate. I like that. I don't care for new, take a look at my guitars!

WEBSITE

Smoke and Mirrors has a website:

http://smokeandmirrorsbkny.tripod.com


My thanks to Chris for gettin it done.

Currently you can find Smoke and Mirrors music at:

smokeandmirrors.podblaze.com

and

telecasting.podblaze.com

0 - 4

Sorry Hue, I think it's over for Mr. Favre, unless he wants to come to New York and hang on the sidelines with Vinnie and Brooks waiting for Chad or Jay to get healthy. You never know who might go down next. The Jets need bodies Hue, lots of 'em.

I'm 9 - 4 for the week. Better that last week's 3 -10.

TEDSTOCK T-SHIRTS

T-Shirts have been ordered. I ordered 100 - 20 xl, 60 large, and 20 medium. If you are coming to the show, please purchase them there. If you want a shirt, but can't make the show (Sunday, October 30th, Williamsburg, Brooklyn), I have set up an e-mail account (tedstock.tshirt@gmail.com), and you can send me an e-mail telling me how many, what size, and where to ship to. I'm happy to do this, but I only want to go to Fed Ex once, so I am going to wait until after I have sold all the shirts I can at TEDSTOCK, and then do another run to fill out my orders. At that point I will send you an e-mail asking you to send $15.00 to my Pay Pal account (you will have the option to pay by check or money order). About half of your money will go directly to an organization here in New York, NYFAC, that helps families deal with Autism.

I've kinda latched on to this Autism Benefit, and I think that I will do more shows, and that I'm gonna stick it out with Autism. There is a massive financial aspect, care for an Autistic child is very expensive, and can easily bankrupt a family, but there's the educational challenge as well, and that means us. We need to be more educated about it. That is why I'm jazzed about the TEDSTOCK/Autism tie in, because we can hit both fronts of this battle at the same time, and with Rock and Roll.

I used a neighborhood source for the t-shirts. The guys from Acquiesce hipped me to Polluted Eyeball. It turns out we're neighbors. Maybe they told me that, but you tend to forget a lot when you hang out with Brett, Dan and Paul. Anyway, I think it's cool that I'm keeping it in the hood. I'm using local bands (mostly) who have recorded with us here at Smoke and Mirrors (mostly), the Trash Bar is one block west, Polluted Eyeball - a block south, and the veggie portion of the TEDSTOCK menu will come from a local restaurant.

I'm also glad I chose the small business man. Fred and I scoped out Cafe Press and Zazzle for the t-shirts, but not only do they not do black (eeeek!), but they were more expensive. The convenience they offer via their on-line service is very attractive. I wouldn't have to do any shipping, Hue wouldn't have to post any images, BUT, I wouldn't have gotten to shake on a deal. I met Peter at Polluted Eyeball, I went to his shop, I saw where he makes the shirts. That is the big one, He Makes The Shirts. I'd rather support Peter, that some faceless web presence. I don't think web based business will ever be able to offer the kind of customer support I get with Peter a block away.

Can I find a software company like that?

HE'S GOTTA BE SMOKING CRACK

Six words - She has never been a judge

Three words - White House Councel

Two words - W's bitch

One word - Idiot

WHAT'S THIS FOR.....!

Enough of the Nuggets for me, they are all Nuggets. I'm going back to simply blogging about cool stuff, and quite often that is an old record.

'What's This For...!' is Killing Joke's sophomore effort from 1981, and I just bought it on CD at Virgin. Guess what? That's right; I love this record. Killing Joke is the Sabbath of Industrial, in that it all begins with their first release, 1980's 'Killing Joke', which spawned the notorious single 'The Wait', which was brought world attention by being covered by Metallica. It is their second record, however, that leans heavier on the machine gun drum vibe that Al Jourgensen would use to such great effect with Ministry. Indeed, Killing Joke is ground zero for a multitude of heavy music spin off genres. The drumming of Martin Atkins is tribal in it's ferocity and equally robotic in it's trance like repetition. Call him the human loop. Crazy distorted synths build on chainsaw guitars, repeat the hook, who needs verses! Oh, I gotta stop writing and submit to the music, bye.....

MORE BLOGSPAM

The following is my auto reply to blogspam. Every dirty shitty blogspammer will recieve this message:

"You dirty shitty blogspammer! You fuck, you fucker! Blog Spammer! Blog Spammer! Don't fucking come near my blog with your dirty shitty fucking blog fucking spam again you dirty shitty blogspammer!"

That'll learn 'em, huh?

NOW THAT'S MORE LIKE IT (NFL WEEK 4)

Okay, so Seattle (my number four), The Jets (my number one), and Jacksonville lost. I think we all knew the Jet's would lose, and we all knew they'd somehow stay in the game and make the loss watchable for us, as they always do, and that's why I love 'em.

New Orleans over Buffalo!

San Diego get's big win over the Evil Empire (New England)!

Cincinnati! What is going on out there in Ohio? Yeah, Houston's an easy win, but 4 and 0 baby!

Indy over Tennessee, a win for me, but who cares....

Tampa over Detroit, see above.

How about the New York Football Giants? It seems Eli arrived, finally. Hmmm, the long ball in New York, doesn't seem right, but I'm in anyway. Whoop de doo for my number 2!

Oakland gets a win!

ATL over the Vikes. I'll take the win, thanks.

Philly racks up another win over KC. Soon I'll hate Philly as much as I hate the Pats and the Fish - you guessed it, call me when you get it together Herm, it's all about the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS this season.

What can I say - no kidnapping in Mexico City. I watched part of this sorry game. Who's this McCown guy? I can't even remember the name of the SF QB, he looked like a tennis player, which in football terms is like saying he looked queer, and he did. Both teams have suck offense, and killer D. Boring, I already have the Jets for that.

BLOGSPAM

Man did I get hit with this crap last night. My junk mail inbox is crammed with notifications from my blog, but they are all blogspam, and what's funny is that all the spam hits my old posts. They don't even bother to hit current postings, how stupid. Like, who's gonna see your link if you spam a four month old blog?

There's this guy:

"Hey, I was searching blogs, and came onto yours, and I like it. I kinda landed here on accident while searching for something esle, but nice blog.. I got you bookmarked.

If you got time , go visit my site, it´s about mens male enhancement reviews. It pretty much covers mens male enhancement reviews and other similar topics available."

I wonder if this guy knows that my cock is mammoth, any bigger and I'd need a liscence for it. I'm so glad he has me bookmarked, though.

Then there's this guy, who's site I actually went to because it was called 'Learn To Play Guitar':

"Who Else Wants To Discover
The Astonishing, Step-By-Step Secrets Of
How To Play Guitar Like Jimi Hendrix,
Green day, Ozzy Osbourne, Foo Fighters, Weezer, Seether Greenday, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Nirvana, Simple Plan, Bob Marley, Jack Johnson,Coldplay, Staind, Offspring, Eddie Van Halen, Blink182, ... and so on?"

I hate to break it to him, but Ozzy doesn't play the guitar. Who's 'so on'?

These people are dumb.

ARNIE

LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a law on Friday tripling damages celebrities can win from paparazzi if they are assaulted during a shoot and denying the photographers profits from any pictures taken during an altercation.

"We always said that the only way we would be able to curb dangerous behavior by these paparazzi was by going after their motivation, and that is being able to make enormous, outrageous profits," said the bill's author, California Assemblywoman Cindy Montanez, a Democrat representing suburban Los Angeles.

What's funny is imagining Arnold sayitg that, play along here; 'dangerous behavior', 'these paparazzi' and 'enormous outrageous profits'. That's comedy gold.

MY BLACK NUGGETS

Black Sabbath's 'Sabotage' was one of those records that my brother had and I sort of grew into, as it grew into me.

It has been said, by the man himself, and others, that Ozzy Osbourne took acid every day for a year somwhere 73 - 74 ish. I don't doubt it, and neither will you after listening to this 1975 release. Ozzy charts the very depths of hell on 'Sabotage'.

I think it's their best effort. Certainly their best sounding record. On 'Sabotage' Tony Iommi let's the synths in a bit more, though they had been using synths to pad the Sabbath sound for years prior. 'Sabotage' is a very complex record, with drastic tempo shifts, and two songs breaking the nine minute mark.

'Sabotage' is not a laid back record, the samba bit at the end of 'Symptom Of The Universe' a la 'Can't You Hear Me Knockin' not-withstanding, this album is about bad trips, nightmares, hell, and more hell. It ends well though, or sort of:

"You are nonentity, you have no destiny
You are a victim of a thing unknown
A mental picture of a stolen soul
A fornication of the golden throne....

.....Rob the dead, they don't feel a thing
Keep them living for another day.....

But everything is gonna work out fine
If it don't I think I'll blow my mind."

So, he's got that going for him.

It's really no wonder why Ozzy is such a mess these days, he was a mess back then, but what a glorious mess. As far as performance goes, Ozzy is at his peak here. He has never sang better, and his material was never more challenging either.

Go out and get 'Sabotage' and listen to Ozzy completely lose his shit, while Geezer, Tony, and Bill heap on the ever churning sludge that is Sabbath.